By Michael E. Miller
By Ryan Yousefi
By Kyle Munzenrieder
By Sabrina Rodriguez
By Michael E. Miller
By Carlos Suarez De Jesus
By Luther Campbell
By Kyle Munzenrieder
It's about time my magnificence was acknowledged: Thanks to all the lovely people at New Times for choosing me, Shelley Novak, just a humble actor/comedian/talk-show host/singer/psychic/feng shui advisor/megastar as "Best Drag Queen" ("Best of Miami," May 15). I had already written my hate letter in preparation for my annual loss, but was completely surprised and had to toss it for this -- a chance to thank all the people who have influenced and helped me in my meteoric rise to the top of free-weekly-newspaper celebritydom.
I hope I remember them all and don't leave anyone out: My thanks to Shelley Winters and Kim Novak, Mark Leventhal and Jody MacDonald, Adora, the Back Door Bamby folks, Bill and Joan Keller of the Muffin Man, Divine, Eddie Izzard, Freddie Mercury, Kenny Everett, Barry Humphries, Julie Christie, Dusty Springfield, Chrissie Hynde, Robbie Williams, Megan Mullaly, Elaine Paige, Patty Lupone, Betty Buckley, John Waters, Desi, Michael Abbot, Nicole DeWeese, and the entire staff and management of crobar -- people who make a dude who looks like Barney Rubble in a dress feel like a star!
Now it's off to start e-mailing Suzy Buckley over at Ocean Drive magazine. Did you know I have never been profiled in "The Beach Patrol" section of that wonderful magazine? After all, I've been on the Beach for twelve years and I'm an institution. I made drag what it is on South Beach ... I ... Did I mention I'm an institution? Love and kisses!
Shelley Novak (Tommy Strangie)
Obviously you guys know nothing about the game of tennis: Is New Times crazy? Flamingo Park ("Best Tennis Courts") has the worst tennis courts I have ever played on. Not only is the staff very rude, but the courts are in terrible shape. (New Times calls them clay courts, but they are not.) There are bumps everywhere, and the courts don't have the proper amount of "top dressing" that proper Har-Tru courts should.
The "Best of Miami" award indicates to me that no one on the New Times staff has ever played there -- or if they have, they have minimal skill at tennis. Any good tennis player would never, ever play at that crummy facility. Try the North Miami Beach Tennis Center (Arthur Snyder). Those are what real Har-Tru courts are supposed to be like.
Every poem has an author: I really enjoyed the "Best of Miami" issue and was thrilled to see an excerpt from Jonathon Rose's poem "Whisperings" from the anthology Irrepressible Appetites as part of the award for "Best Open-Mike Night." I heard Jonathon Rose read this poem at the South Florida Writers Conference on May 16. I was upset to see his words unacknowledged.
Further, the sponsor of the open-mike night is Lip, Tongue, and Ear Poetry Productions. This went unmentioned. As professional writers, we may not always be paid for our work, but we must receive credit for our words.
Who just happens to have great taste in wine and other good things: I wish to thank New Times and its staff for the beautifully written words regarding my husband's hard work and accomplishments at Laurenzo's Italian Market ("Best Wine Store").
Rest assured his good taste extends to more than wine. There is a new and exciting project in the works. You will be hearing more from and about Matt Adler soon.
North Miami Beach
Hope you don't mind if I plug my restaurant, which just happens to be great: I'm curious if our restaurant/lounge was considered for the "Best Happy Hour" award. The Seahorse restaurant, located at 3590 NW 79th St., just east of Hialeah Hospital, has happy hour from 4:00 to 7:00 p.m. Tuesday through Friday, and Sunday from 1:00 to 9:00 p.m. Draft beers are 49 cents, fresh oysters are 25 cents, and chicken wings are 35 cents. Kids eat free on Sundays. Great seafood, too.
Okay, so we're not on the Beach or in the Grove or near UM. But perhaps you'll consider us for next year's "Best of Miami."
Second-Best Effort at Free Publicity
Yes, people still want yogurt, and I have yogurt: As usual "Best of Miami" was packed with great information. One item, though, I feel must be addressed. Quoted in the "Best Frozen Yogurt" award was this: "Try to find dulce de leche at your nearest TCBY franchise." As the owner of TCBY Sunny Isles Beach, I must correct New Times. I have dulce de leche yogurt on a monthly basis.
Sunny Isles Beach
In gratitude I'd like to sing for you my favorite aria: Whoever wrote that beautiful item about our concert series ("Best Concert Series") deserves a huge thanks from me. You have no idea how gratified I was to read it. Oftentimes one thinks nobody notices anything.
When "Best of Miami" came out, it did my heart good. Also, when I went to Azul restaurant, three waiters came up to congratulate me! That issue really reached a lot of people. Thanks once again.