Wee Aliens

Saturday 5/24

Your toddler may look like an innocent human child, but he already knows more about you than your ex-husband and mother ever did. He sees through you. He will overpower you by the time he turns four, so you better not get in his way. That's what proponents of indigo children are saying about the next link in the human evolutionary chain, being born at this very minute. More than 85 percent of children younger than eight have these cosmic traits, they say (and 95 percent of kids born in 1998). They're special. Indigo kids have telepathic powers, they understand all things at once, they are righteous, and they are brought here to bring us stupid mortal coots to a higher power. Their leader is Michael Jackson. This could be the dark side of baby boom tyranny -- a new way for aging New Agers to make sense of their ADD hyperactive brats. But in case this is true, Dr. Jean Schweizer, who once ran a school for indigo children in Palm Beach, will show you how to maintain your little evolutionary wonder. The seminar takes place at 9:00 a.m. at 1221 Venetia Terr., Coral Gables. Registration costs $144. Call 305-441-0314.--By Juan carlos Rodriguez Saturday 5/24 Family Way Mellow out with the brood

Your hyper little tyke isn't crying out for some military-style discipline. He just needs to relax, get centered à la Orient. Actually, you do too. Lucky then that at 3:00 p.m. WITHIN Wellness Center (7800 Red Rd., South Miami) will offer T'ai Chi for Kids and Parents. You and junior (age 5 to 12) can pick up tips on improving concentration, balance, and flexibility from Cari Shurman, certified teacher of T'ai Chi and Qi Gong. Now you're all stressed out because you don't have a kid? Borrow one from a friend. No one will be the wiser. Or just show up alone. Cost is $15 per adult with a child; $10 for adults only. Reservations are encouraged. Call 305-668-0570. -- By Nina Korman