Card Bored

How can I learn to write really mushy stuff about love? The Hallmark-card seminar!

To my darling husband, as I sit alone on the wooden bench at the Smoke Pit restaurant, watching that enticing pink pig sweating and slowly rotating on the spit, I'm reminded of the many wonderful years we've spent together, rolling with the punches, memories as rich and sweet as a tangy barbecue sauce. Happy Anniversary! No, scratch that.

To my darling husband, as I stand on the white sandy beach, watching the waves rolling toward me, the salt stinging my eyes, I'm reminded of the many bittersweet years we've spent together, swimming against the tide, memories as warm and pleasant as a sun-soaked afternoon. Happy Anniversary! No, no, scratch that too.

To my darling husband, as I stand at the majestic altar of our church during Sunday-morning services, feeling my head throb from inhaling too much incense while I belt out a hymn with the choir, I'm reminded of the many tumultuous years we've spent together, yelling at the kids and at each other, memories as excruciating and unpleasant as a root canal. Happy Anniversary! Yes, yes, that's it!

Ahh, the travails of penning the perfect anniversary message without mentioning the fact you stink of charcoal, have sand in your butt, or have lost your voice from screaming too much. Imagine getting paid to do such stuff. That's the fabulous existence of a Hallmark card writer. A life you'd love to lead one day. Hallmark scribe Diedra Jo Zollar takes inspiration from mundane things such as barbecue, the beach, and church. Jim Howard is a fan of drinking a good cup of tea, which he claims aids his creative process. (Uh, Jim, maybe it's more about the caffeine jolt than the actual tea-making ritual?) Both Diedra and Jim (we're guessing that you can refer to them by their first names) will visit our parts this week when Hallmark Writers on Tour: Meaningful Moments and Memories stops at Books & Books for an afternoon seminar. They ask only that you come armed with anecdotes about those particularly poignant cards that have moved you or have shaken up your friends. At a price comparable to a cup of designer coffee, greeting cards have the power to make even the most hardened of us cry.

 
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