The Whole World Keeps Watching

"The BBC is covered insurance-wise if I get shot now,"he deadpans, before passing along some helpful battlefield advice. "If somebody opens fire on you, don't crawl behind a car door like you see in the movies. Car doors are actually very thin, the bullets go right through. Get behind the car to hide." His training crescendoed with a mock-kidnapping, complete with blindfold. "Then I was tortured for a bit," he adds.

Tortured?

"They stand on the back of your head," Parkinson continues matter-of-factly. "The secret is not to become the leader, not to speak out, not to object." In a group of captured combatants, he explains, the one who garners the most attention is usually the first one killed.

But what if Parkinson is grabbed by Iraqi soldiers along with a group of noncombatants. Say, a party of journalists? What's the plan then?

Parkinson pauses and then breaks into a wide grin: "We all point to the French guy, the AFP [Agence France-Presse] reporter! He's the leader!"