Armesto Watch

Excitable Take Back Miami-Dade spokesman Eladio José Armesto is holding up well despite the enormous stress of a countywide referendum campaign and the added insult of criminal fraud charges being brought against several associates. One of those arrested was just seventeen years old. That prompted homosexualist reporters to badger Armesto with questions about whether his side, supposedly the moral guardians of Miami's youth, was actually corrupting minors. His response to such absurd accusations? "I laughed and laughed until I almost peed," Armesto chuckled. But then he fumed: Being charged with a felony is no joke.

"Christian Montoya's arrest is totally illegal and the phony charges brought against him are an utterly despicable charade by individuals who act as the Communist Secret Police," Armesto reasoned. "Those who arrested Christian are [the] true corrupters of minors and they should be severely punished. He was mistreated, Communist-style, solely because of his political ideas and beliefs. On the other hand, homosexualist State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle's son has a bunch of prior arrests for very serious crimes against society and always gets royal treatment. You want to say Fernandez Rundle is engaged in the corruption of a minor?"