KISS and Tell

The eatery that goes skimpy on the girls, not on the steak

The days when Miami restaurants would charge $7 for a lousy dessert are apparently behind us, replaced by the more contemporary and just-as-crummy $9 dessert. This is the third restaurant in a row where I've concluded a satisfying meal with just that. A chocolate-and-coconut-coated banana fried to a distastefully greasy state, two miniscoops of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and a moistureless, dull-tasting "blondie" constituted this particular disaster.

Speaking of disasters, a word of caution to men who may need to use the restroom during weekends: A man will follow you into the small, single-urinal space and stand behind you, paper towel in hand. After washing your hands in the sink, which has so many products piled on top it looks like the personal-care section at Walgreens, you will note that the only paper towel is the one he is holding. He is not doing this because he likes you. (Advice to worldwide terrorists: If you wish to propagandize against capitalism more effectively, get the word out that there are places in America where you have to tip to use the bathroom.)

How can a place this gauche make food this good? Put Rovert Nava and Sean Basel in the kitchen
Steve Satterwhite
How can a place this gauche make food this good? Put Rovert Nava and Sean Basel in the kitchen

Details

305-695-4445. Open for dinner daily, Sunday through Tuesday 7:00 p.m. to midnight, lounge open 7:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m.; Wednesday to Saturday dinner 7:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m., lounge 9:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m.
301 Lincoln Rd, Miami Beach

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KISS's cuisine is overseen by chef Robert Nava but bears the unmistakably bold, Southwestern flair of its sister restaurant, Touch -- especially the touch of Sean Basel, corporate executive chef. It is to Basel's credit that with all the extraneous, circuslike hoopla surrounding his cuisine at both places, he's nonetheless recognized, rightly so, as being one of our area's most talented chefs. First a Touch, then a KISS -- one needn't be Nostradamus to predict what's coming next, though for aficionados of fine dining, the sexiest scenario would involve an environment where Basel's no-nonsense cuisine, not some long-legged, leather-clad tease, takes center stage.

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