Donít Get Holidazed!

Holiday Gift Guide 2001

Smoker
His fingers are stained from years of nicotine consumption and it's too late to do anything about it, unless, of course he considers going the Michael Jackson skin pigmentation depletion route. Rather than allow him to turn his hands into a jaundiced mess, get him a hookah--no, not that kind, that's still illegal--in which he can stuff a number of flavored tobaccos and smoke all he wants without getting his hands soiled.
$60-$150, www.buddhasbelly.com

Harry Potter Fan
The media blitz has already begun for the movie version of the hugely successful Harry Potter series and while the thought of collecting every tchotchke McDonald's doles out with its Happy Meals gives you indigestion, you know someone who'd be willing to go up a few sizes just to get 'em all. And that's just the mother of the devout Harry Potter fan. Kids of all ages who are engrossed in J.K. Rowling's phantasmagorical world of Harry and company will absolutely love this pop-up book that almost makes it seem as if you're a student of Hogwarts, too. Almost. But then again, the person who appreciates Harry Potter already has a vivid imagination, so this book is for serious fans--and their children--only.
Hogwarts School: A Magical 3-D Carousel Pop-Up, $24,
www.amazon.com

Alleged Art Aficionado
Why is it that so many single men think that having insipid Ansel Adams prints on their walls means they're "into fine art"? Not to slam the landscape-obsessed photographer or anything, but there's a heck of a lot more to fine art than a Kodak moment with trees and ice caps. To each his own, we suppose. So, for this guy who loves Ansel Adams, Ansel Adams at 100 is more than he could ask for. Chock-full of over 100 photographs, the book is, well, full of lovely landscapes. Enough said.
$150, Books & Books,
265 Aragon Ave., Coral Gables, 305-442-4408;
933 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; 305-532-3222;
www.booksandbooks.com

Mark Poutenis
Mark Poutenis

Purpose Server
Life and tennis are both games. Games are meant to be won, despite what your mother told you. And in some games fighting is encouraged. Not the cat fighting between Martina Hingis and Anna Kournikova, but the fight against cancer. If you know someone who plays tennis, give him or her a whole new reason to hit the ball with Penn's special-edition, pink tennis balls that read "Serve Up a Cure." Half the proceeds from the sale of these balls will go to SHARE, Strang Cancer Prevention and the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.
$10 for a pack of three, www.tennisexpress.com

Stoner
Not that we encourage this person's habit, but if you know someone who insists they perform better while under the influence, they're gonna love you almost as much as they do Jerry Garcia when you present them with this, the world's first collapsible, inflatable water pipe. Portable and almost reminiscent of an oxygen mask, the Pfwoot (maybe the name makes more sense after you've inhaled) is just a foot tall, available in blue with other colors to come. To use it, it needs to be blown up, which is a dubious task for someone who likes to inhale lots of smoke, but it sure is convenient to conceal when deflated. It also comes with a removable bowl and a built-in stem. Rendering the three-foot long tube as antiquated as the 8-track tape, the Pfwoot is not your father's bong.
$20, www.pfwoot.com

Voyeur
This guy's dream come true is to sneak behind the rack in the communal dressing room at Loehmann's on a sale day and just...watch. As a kid he preferred to peer through binoculars than through his Viewmaster. Now that he can afford super- powerful telescopes, his peering range has increased from across the street to across the city. One of these days he's gonna get arrested. But in the meantime, give him a full-frontal, legal view of the ladies in Apartment 7, the East Village apartment where women have disrobed for photog Peter Gorman in the hopes that someone would look at them. Such is not the case with the ladies at Loehmann's.
$34.95, Books & Books,
265 Aragon Ave., Coral Gables, 305-442-4408 ;
933 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; 305-532-3222;
www.booksandbooks.com

Single and Always Looking Girl Friend
For this girl, a date is almost as routine as brushing her teeth. No less than twice a day, sometimes more. You see, she's on a constant crusade to find the elusive Mr. Right. Everything she does--a trip to Publix, filling up at the gas station, a latte at Starbucks, etc--revolves around finding a guy. Some may call her a desperado but she'll be the first to tell you she's just ďactively looking', which in our book is the PC term for desperado. At any rate, give her a gift she can totally relate to in the form of author Rochelle Morton's book, My 1,000 Americans: A Year-Long Journey Through the Personals. Over the course of one year, Morton placed personals ads in New York City and Miami (maybe in this very newspaper) and compiled the bizarre, twisted and pathetic replies of over 1,000 men, many whom she actually met. Brave girl. Anyway, after your friend realizes that half these men are married or have criminal records, perhaps she'll finally be deterred from meeting men via internet chat rooms. Or maybe she'll just recognize several of her past dates in the book and use that as her M.O. for continuing on in her quest to find "the one."
$13, Books & Books,
265 Aragon Ave., Coral Gables, 305-442-4408;
933 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; 305-532-3222;
www.booksandbooks.com

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