Donít Get Holidazed!

Holiday Gift Guide 2001

Browbeater
Unlike the aforementioned, this person is constantly doing something to his or her eyebrows, whether it's plucking, waxing, penciling or, more often than not, mangling. In fact, they're almost beyond repair, nearly nonexistent with a shape as amorphous as an amoeba's. Let this person's poor brows take some shape with DV8-the Salon's brilliant, wax-free eyebrow sculpting. Known as threading, this technique guarantees a defined shape without damaging the surrounding skin. We'd explain how it's done, but it's something you have to see to believe.
$20, DV8-the Salon, 1860 West Ave.,
Miami Beach, 305-695-0234

Venus Williams Fan
First and foremost, Venus Williams is a tennis player. A good one, at that. And sort of like the models who want to act, the actors who want to direct and the fools that can't be satisfied with their one, well- paying talent-slash-career, Venus Williams, a graduate of a Fort Lauderdale fashion school, wants to be a clothing designer. Say no more, said Wilsons Leather, which is now featuring the official Venus Williams Collection of leatherwear, not tenniswear, but leatherwear that only a true fan could love. Choose from several styles of jackets, pants and skirts. Too bad there's not a leather muzzle to shut Venus's dad up when she's on the court.
From $80, Wilsons Leather,
Bayside Marketplace, 401 Biscayne Blvd., 305-358-3872;
Sawgrass Mills, 12801 W Sunrise Blvd, 954-846-7082

Anna Kournikova Fan
Most people like the Williams sisters for their talent. Those who tend to obsess over Anna Kournikova, however, are digging her for other reasons. If you need to know what these are, then don't even bother continuing. For the die-hard Anna fan, the tennis nymph has her very own video. No, not that kind of video, but Basic Elements, Anna's complete, and we mean complete, fitness guide. Somehow, we think that the recipients of this video will spend most of their viewing time working up a different kind of sweat.
$14.99, Best Buy,
21035 Biscayne Blvd., Aventura, 305-933-9025;
7755 SW 40th St., 305-267-9913;
www.bestbuy.com

Mark Poutenis
Mark Poutenis

Tough Cookie
This one's a food snob, a clothes snob, a movie snob. Generally, a pain in the ass. Nothing is every up to par with the standards of this overly critical person. While your first thought is to not get this person a gift at all, we've got something that's hard for anyone to look down upon. Unless, of course, they don't like sweets, in which case, skip the rest of this and proceed to the next items. Otherwise, the hard-to-top Neiman-Marcus Christmas Book catalogue has a perfect gift for this person. A tin of 13 not just sweet, but chic, cookies from Eleni's New York Bakery created in the likeness of items by Gucci, Kate Spade, Burberry and Oscar de la Renta, among others. Shoes, bags and dresses, all edible. If the person starts to complain, just shove one of these in their mouth.
$65, 800-825-8000

Calorie Conscious
The calorie conscious person has a real problem with letting things go. For instance, who cares that the piece of Trident you just offered her has five calories? Get over it and live a little, right?! This person gets more joy out of being a killjoy, telling you just as you're about to dig your fork into a piece of cake that it has more calories than a Big Mac. Tell this person to keep her calories to herself and give her the BalanceLog Palm Pilot, a contraption that provides instant feedback and a better understanding of calorie intake than Suzanne Sommers ever could. In addition, the gadget allows the calorie-consumed to set personal weight management and nutrition goals, individualize food programs based on metabolic rate, tracks calories in and calories out (gross!), search a database of over 300 exercises and 3,000 foods and, finally, track nutrients in food intake to ensure the most optimum nutrition. While your friend's busy inputting and outputting caloric information, you'll be free to order that extra large, extra cheese pepperoni pizza you were eyeing on that Domino's commercial last night!
BalanceLog software,
$49 or $169 PDA
BalanceLog Software for Palm or Desktop
$169 PDA w/ software
www.healthetech.com.

Gossip Monger
There's the guy at the water cooler who can't get enough of inter-office hearsay. Then there's the girl you went to high school with twenty years ago who still can't stop talking about what happened in the 11th grade. There's your best friend who lives by and for "Page Six" and believes everything she reads on it. And then there's your mother-in-law who considers the tabloids more sacred than the Bible and calls you every time a celebrity enters rehab, Julia Roberts changes boyfriends, and Madonna changes accents. Liz Smith once said that gossip is the most important meal of the day and, for these people, it's nothing but the truth. So what better gift to give them than the memoirs of the aging celebrity ass kisser herself? Liz Smith's Natural Blonde: A Memoir gives the low down on the time Frank Sinatra told her off and just about everything --and everyone--else she ever experienced, encountered and covered during her illustrious career. In fact it's so chock-full of schlock, it may be overkill for the reader, ultimately turning them off to the nonsense. Which, in your opinion, is the best gossip you could ever hear.
$7.99, Books & Books,
265 Aragon Ave., Coral Gables, 305-442-4408;
933 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; 305-532-3222;
www.booksandbooks.com

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