Donít Get Holidazed!

Holiday Gift Guide 2001

Big Baby
You'd be surprised to discover just who still sleeps with a teddy bear. That hot guy pumping iron at the gym? He does. The woman whose silicone implants are so massive there's practically no room left in her bed for anything/anyone? Yup, she does too. And because parting is such sweet sorrow when it comes to dumping a beloved stuffed animal, not to mention because you may be feeling a bit neglected lately, the Build A Bear Workshop, a place which uses the word ďbeary' almost as much as the word ďthe' is used in the English language, prides itself on being a place where best friends are made. Your dear friend loves you very much, we're sure, but she has a special place in her heart for her teddy bear. Create a custom-made teddy bear in your own likeness and hopefully she will adore you as much as you had hoped. But don't expect your beary good friend to dump her teddy and, instead, don one for you, her very needy, life-sized teddy bear any time soon.
$10-$25, Build A Bear Workshop,
Aventura Mall,
19575 Biscayne Blvd., Aventura, 305-931-8676;
The Gardens,
3101 PGA Blvd., Palm Beach Gardens, 561-630-7734;

Your favorite foodie would leave her husband in a minute in favor of restaurateur Myles Chefetz, the man whose culinary visions have spawned Nemo, Big Pink and Shoji Sushi, three of South Beach's hautest eateries. Since that's not something you want to get involved in, consider a trio of gift certificates good for at least a meal at each of Chefetz's establishments.
Available in any denomination. 305-219-2740

The One Who Stands by You
No matter what, this person always makes sure there's a seat for you. Whether you're at a bar or a standing-room-only event, this kind person makes sure there's somewhere cushy to rest your tushy. Poor thing. Too much standing can cause varicose veins, you know. Take a stand for once in your life and get this person the Portable Loveseat, which is actually big enough to fit two booties, as long as each one doesn't exceed the 250 pound maximum. And while the two of you are sitting, you'll actually be taking a stand against terrorism, as this made-in-America product donates $10 from each sale to the Victims' Relief Fund.

Mark Poutenis
Mark Poutenis

Thigh Scraper
Sooner or later a large majority of women will inevitably succumb to the wrath of the cottage cheese curse. Look at Liz Hurley or the lither-than-life Jerry Hall. They both suffer from cellulite. Doctors say it's genetic, so blame your mother, not your addiction to Burger King. If you have smoothe thighs, consider yourself lucky. In the meantime the cellu-laden continue to complain and do anything possible to rid themselves of this unsightly mess. When she saw that special on Dateline about sandpapering away the cellulite, she tried that. It didn't work. Whether you believe it or not, beauty experts insist that Laboratoire Remede's slender Active Amplifier works by causing a 4-percent reduction in the thickness of fat layers under the skin. What they don't say is that the 4-percent is refilled with this cream. But, hey, a lot of it is psychological. It can't hurt, right?
By the caseload for $300 or individual bottles for $55,
Bliss Out, 888-243-8825 or

Don't even talk to this person about NBC 6's so-called Trend Tracker. It's like talking about pork to a kosher person. Blasphemy! Don't do it! In fact, this person even criticizes Vogue magazine for being too behind the times, missing the beat on all the latest and greatest in fashion and general hipsterhood. So what the hell can you possibly get the person who always seems to have everything at least a season before everyone else? You're no Nostradamus, so don't even think about trying to predict what will be hot next season. The last time you did that was when you thought the skinny tie was coming back. That was a disaster. Your best bet, as far as a gift for the trendoid is concerned, is a subscription to the cooler-than-thou Brit-port known as Spruce, the fashionable, younger sibling to the so-hip-it's-painful Wallpaper magazine. And while you're at it, you may as well sign yourself up for one, too, because we know you were eyeing those godawful acid-washed jeans you saved from the 80s in the hopes that they'd make a comeback.
Spruce is biannual. A subscription includes a one-year subscription to Wallpaper magazine, $67,

Boyfriend with the Unibrow
As a child you never imagined dating Bert from Sesame Street. Ever. If anything, cute, cuddly Ernie, but Bert? He's evil. And what's up with that continuous eyebrow? It's scary. Welcome to your adult life, when most straight men tend not to pluck their brows even if they do look as if they've been separated at birth from Bert. And while you continue to, uh, browbeat over this disturbing matter, it's not doing anything to part the brows a la Moses and the Red Sea. A not-so-subtle gift idea for your Bert lookalike is Poetic Cosmetics' Precision Brow Shaping set in which perfectly placed brows are guaranteed. Complete with five pairs of reusable stick-on shaping stencils, one pan each of light, medium, and dark browshades, an arch-enhancing browbone toner, dual-ended applicator and a tube of Brow'd Control, clear grooming and setting gel. Sure it sounds a bit effeminate, but tell him that you read (in In Style) that Harrison Ford uses it, or one of his favorite, macho athletes. Good luck.
For a female with similar problem, replace Bert mentions (except the evil part, of course) with Frida Kahlo.
Bliss Out, 888-243-8825 or

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