Donít Get Holidazed!

Holiday Gift Guide 2001

Overgrown Fraternity Boy
This guy refuses to part with his fraternity jerseys which, to your dismay, he still wears out in public. His collection of shot glasses are more priceless than the Rolex he got for graduation 20 years ago and his idea of intimacy with his girlfriend is a high five. Somehow, however, he manages to hold down a decent job, one for which he travels extensively. And while his business suits are something he almost always forgets on these trips, give him something he's sure to carry with him at all times. The Weekend Fun Pack is a portable frat party--with bottle opener, dice, a shot glass, playing cards, a wine opener (for when the beer runs out), four ping pong balls, and instructions for beer pong, doubles, quarters and other brain-busting drinking games--that's sure to win him points with all those other business dudes.
$9.99, Urban Outfitters,
653 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 305-535-9726;
The Shops at Sunset Place,
5701 Sunset Dr., South Miami, 305-663-1536

How can a lush be fully satisfied with the traditional stainless steel flask? It's a bitch to fill up, it doesn't hold all that much and its contents are almost always tepid and steely. Eh, we suppose they don't care or are too wasted to realize. But either way, there's something better--and cooler--on the market. A thermos-like flask with three shot cups which are hidden in the flask's leather casing. Even better, it holds 6 ounces of libation and actually keeps the stuff chilled. And the boozy, hot pink elephant on the flask is pretty cool, too.
$24.99, Urban Outfitters,
653 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 305-535-9726;
The Shops at Sunset Place,
5701 Sunset Dr., South Miami, 305-663-1536

History Buff
Okay, so the recent state of affairs in the world are what tomorrow's text books are made of. Gas masks, American flags and altered photos of Osama Bin Laden are tomorrow's memorabilia. But what about the relics of the past? World War II ration books, for example, are reminders of the fact that this country has endured hard times and come out of them just fine. And before Walt Disney ever conjured up his animated rodent and visions of Tommorowland, there was the World's Fair. Tickets for the fair were as hard to come by as those for Madonna's Drowned World Tour. Ah, memories.
Ration Books, $35; World's Fair tickets, $35;
Miami Midcentury, 3404 N Miami Ave., 305-572-0558

Malodorous Mutt
No matter how cute your dog is, there's nothing cute about the smell of wet dog. Even when the animal is completely dry. If, for some reason, your pooch is putrid no matter how many baths you give it, consider throwing the poor thing a bone in the form of Doogy, a fragrance for dogs. Like CK One, it smells lovely on girl and boy dogs and a dollar from each sale goes straight to the ASPCA, who can maybe put that money to good use in wiping out smelly dog syndrome.
$18, Saks Fifth Avenue,
Bal Harbour Shops,
9700 Collins Ave., Bal Harbour, 305-865-1100;
Dadeland Mall,
7687 N Kendall Dr., 305-662-8655;
5800 Glades Rd., Boca Raton, 561-393-9100;
172 Worth Ave., Palm Beach, 561-833-2551; or 800-347-9177

So your mother absolutely hates the phone and screams every time it rings. How are you ever going to persuade her to carry a cell phone, then, for emergencies, of course? It's not a deterrent enough that pay phones carry more germs than the inside of a dog's mouth. Consider disguising the cell phone in a Cellbaby--a fuzzy cover that looks like a stuffed animal. Choose from a cuddly bunny, puppy, alligator or beaver. So cute, your mother won't be able to resist!

Remember when your friend called you from his cellphone, hyperventilating because Erik Estrada was pumping gas right next to him? Or what about the time he actually schlepped to the opening of a Kmart in Homestead because some minor soap opera actress was on hand to do the ribbon cutting? Imagine if he actually ran into a real celebrity. Defibrillator, stat! Anyway, PlayStation has exactly what a starstruck person needs--SSX Tricky, the newest addition to the game's extreme sport series. What's so great about an extreme sports video game, you ask? Well this one's got bona fide celebrities lending their real voices to the game's players. Patricia Velasquez, Billy Zane, David Arquette, Macy Gray, Lucy Liu, Oliver Platt, Jim Rose Circus and Bif Naked have all got game in SSX Tricky. Even better, the music has been provided by Beastie Boys DJ, Mixmaster Mike. Your friend will never get excited about Erik Estrada again.
$49.99, Target,
14075 Biscayne Blvd., North Miami Beach, 305-944-5341;
7795 SW 40th St., Miami, 305-262-5767

The Indelibly Romantic
When Johnny Depp broke up with Winona Ryder, he had his tattoo "Winona Forever" partially erased. It now reads "Wino Forever." It's better than nothing, we suppose. While Depp may have learned his lesson, others still haven't and insist on having the name of their love du jour permanently inked into their bloodstream. Rather than taking the Cher route and enduring painful tattoo removal (treatments take about 10 minutes, but cost $450 per tattoo inch), consider the Covermark Tattoo Cover Kit. Available in three shades, the kit includes a neutralizing white primer to tone down color and two blendable shades of pigmented and waterproof cover-up to prevent an embarrassing, accidental erasing while you're lathering up with your latest.
$25, 800-524-1120

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