By Michael E. Miller
By Ryan Yousefi
By Kyle Munzenrieder
By Sabrina Rodriguez
By Michael E. Miller
By Carlos Suarez De Jesus
By Luther Campbell
By Kyle Munzenrieder
Hizzonor the Oinker
Banish the boobs, the butts, and the bimbos they're attached to: In heaping abuse on such a sensual, beautiful, and just plain nice person as his wife Mari, Miami Mayor Joe Carollo has once again affirmed that he deserves an addendum to his already dubious "honorable" title: His Honorable Pig. Robert Andrew Powell's article "The Mayor, the Wife, the Sexpots" (June 7) shows that it's obvious Carollo has no self-respect, let alone respect for others, including his wife, kids, and constituents. As a role model he is nothing more than a piece of human trash who sincerely believes he is a legend. And he is -- in his own mind.
To flaunt his adulterous ways in public with the Bimbos Three -- Sissi, Diana, and Lucía, who are nothing more than phony baloneys desperately seeking their fleeting fifteen minutes of fame -- is a true depiction of what he is all about. His entire tenure as mayor has been something out of a B movie. And his comment that "people are very understanding and forgiving" confirms his rather naive belief that he will be returned to office by voters.
Joe Carollo's hypocrisy is an insult to all of us here in his banana republic. He should be bounced out of town and banished along with the big boobs and broad butts of his three bimbo babes.
We Are Two Wild and Crazy Guys
Hey, hey, hey, what say O.J.? Next thing you know, Joe Carollo is going to be O.J. Simpson's wingman, partying it up on South Beach with a bevy of supermodels. Escorting these two exemplary citizens will be the mayor's personal sergeant-at-arms, Det. Tony Mir, armed to the gills with weaponry. They'll have no problem entering the VIP rooms on South Beach. The mayor will just flash his giant-size key to the city, and Detective Mir will wave a "special pass" that allows him to bypass security at airports and bouncers at velvet ropes.
Maybe Shawn Lewis will comp them a bottle of champagne in one of the many clubs he manages but does not own. Sounds like a plan to me. Plus O.J. can give the mayor some tips on how to beat the rap over that mysterious bump on Mari Carollo's forehead. Whoever called this guy Crazy Joe is just jealous because he's living la vida loca!
South Beach Manifesto: We Are Inclusive
We just choose not to include a certain subculture: I read Tristram Korten's article "South Beach as Thug Central" (June 7), and as a resident of South Beach I was not surprised at the chaos that took place over Memorial Day Weekend. The warning signs were there. Hungry club promoters were ready to trash the city in order to line their pockets. In particular nightclub operators Shawn Lewis and Gerry Kelly were blatant about their plans for South Beach after failing to attract the "A-list" crowd to their clubs. Residents of South Beach should not have to pay for their failures. Ingrid Casares was right on the money in her last Ocean Drive interview when she blamed Level owner Kelly for the beginning of the end of South Beach.
This is not a racial problem, since not every African American in the United States is part of the urban hip-hop subculture whose idols are ex-cons who rap about murder and violence and anger toward a society that fails to understand them. Memorial Day weekend on South Beach was filled with that violence and anger, as well as a disrespect for diversity.
These negative sentiments are at the core of the so-called hip-hop movement, and the only people in the whole world who don't know it are our city officials, who should be blamed for dancing with unscrupulous club promoters. But we residents should also be blamed for not protecting our community, which is one of the most inclusive and hippest in the world, comparable only to New York and San Francisco. This is a community where young couples and families mingle with gays, orthodox Jews, and Hispanics; a community where respect is the law of the land, an alien concept to the hip-hop subculture.
Hosting this Memorial Day event again should not be an option for Miami Beach.
South Beach Manifesto: No Violence, No Misogyny
And while we're at it, let's get straight about hip-hop culture: Here's an idea: While everyone scrambles to figure out if Miami Beach is a racist city and if hip-hop culture is violent, let's try to understand that what we saw Memorial Day weekend was not hip-hop culture. The B-Boy Masters Pro-Am -- the five-year-old break-dancing conference and competition that took place May 16 through May 20 at the Ramada Resort on the Beach -- now, that was hip-hop culture.
What we saw Memorial Day weekend was just glorified misogyny and violence acting itself out in the real world. The Ramada Resort had no trouble with the b-boys. As a matter of fact, no one in the local media or city cared about them coming to town. But then, the media have no interest in real hip-hop culture. They're only interested in celebrating violence whenever they get a chance.