By Chuck Strouse
By Scott Fishman
By Terrence McCoy
By Ryan Yousefi
By Ciara LaVelle, Kat Bein, Carolina Del Busto, and Liz Tracy
By Pepe Billete
By Ryan Yousefi
By Kyle Swenson
Beleaguered rep: (Clicks over) Hello. Customer service. How may I help you today?
Caller #1: I've been on hold. I didn't get my paper this morning. Does any of this ring a bell?
Beleaguered rep: Yes, ma'am. Let's see, right, it's too late to get a copy of today's paper to you, but I'd be happy to credit your account.
Caller #1: I tried to take care of this earlier today through the automated system, but I didn't have much luck.
Beleaguered rep: What happened?
Caller #1: I started pushing the buttons on my phone like they tell you. I thought I was following directions, but I must have gotten rerouted.
Beleaguered rep: Why do you say that?
Caller #1: 'Cause I finally got this guy on the line, and he just kept asking me what I was wearing. When I told him, well, he started telling me what he was wearing....
Beleaguered rep: I'm very sorry about that, ma'am. I just need your name, please. (Pause) I'm not showing an account for you. How long have you been a Herald subscriber?
Caller #1: Almost nine years.
Beleaguered rep: That's funny. I can't pull you up on the screen. Are you sure you're a Herald subscriber?
Caller #1: (Exasperated) Darn tootin'. Ever since I moved to Grand Forks.
Beleaguered rep: How do you expect to get a copy of the Herald in Grand Forks?
Caller #1: Cancel my subscription. (Hangs up)
Beleaguered rep: (Clicks back) Hello. Customer service. How may I help you today?
Caller #2: This is José Sanchez again.
Beleaguered rep: From St. Paul?
Caller #2: No, from Miami. Look, I've decided to cancel my vacation. I don't have the energy to go away anymore. Don't do anything, okay? Nada, you understand?
Beleaguered rep: Yes, Mr. Sanchez and thank you for your cooperation. Gracias.
Caller #2: Yeah, yeah, I know: “Have a nice day.” “Mucho gusto.”
Beleaguered rep: Gusto? I thought you were calling about the Herald.
Caller #2: Which one?
Beleaguered rep: I don't remember.