TV's Kung Fu protagonist Kwai Chang Caine battled an array of villains in the Old West, but lucky for him he never came up against a turntable. Yes, a turntable. Faced with juggling beats, scratching, and working a mixer, poor Caine might have resigned in defeat. Think martial arts and DJ culture and you might understand the ideas behind the Kung-Fu Knowledge Tour. Knowledge, Bristol, England's premier drum-and-bass magazine, and Tai Seng, the largest distributor of Hong Kong action films in the United States, have teamed up to sponsor this 25-city tour, featuring a core of resident DJs and MCs, a slew of video monitors broadcasting clips from martial arts films, and some special guests. The tour starts off tonight at 10:00 p.m. during Beat Camp at the Mission (637 Washington Ave., Miami Beach). On the national touring bill: Brit DJs Jonny L, DJ Dazee, and MC Chickaboo; New York City's DJ Soulslinger, founder of the Liquid Sky record label and clothing line; and Miami's own DJ Craze, the reigning DMC world champion and ITF champion in scratching. Joining them will be locals Aura, grrl13, t.farmer, Marco, Element, and others, and Obiquos will perform live. Admission ranges from $10 to $15. Call 305-534-5420.
Easter is almost here. Break out the food coloring -- and the rabbit traps! Just kidding about maiming lovable fuzzy animals. But get ready: Messy egg dying is about to leave your hands a dingy brown for the next few weeks, or maybe not. If young ones are between the ages of six and twelve, you can hustle them over to Bill Sadowski Park's (17555 SW 79th Ave.) eight-hour Egg Day. They'll learn all about egg-laying animals and take part in holiday activities such as basket making, egg decorating, and an egg hunt. Kids should arrive bearing lunch, a beverage, and a half-dozen hard-boiled eggs for decorating. Cost is $20 per kid and $15 per additional sibling. Call 305-255-4767 to register.
Its bottom may be getting thick with toxic sludge but we love the Miami River anyway. Help honor the murky body of water during Miami River Day, the first event of Dade Heritage Days (the annual six-week celebration of the county's architectural, cultural, and environmental heritage put on by Dade Heritage Trust). The river day features music (reggae, folk, Dixieland, and more), storytelling, folk-art demonstrations, boat tours of the river, as well as walking tours of the adjacent Scottish Rite Masonic Center and the Riverside, Overtown, and Spring Garden neighborhoods. There will be historic re-enactments at Fort Dallas and the Wagner Homestead, and tons of food, of course. It all happens from 11:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. at Lummus Park (NW Third Street and N. River Drive). Free water taxis to the park take off from the Miami Riverside Center, 444 SW Second Ave., or the Hyatt Regency, 400 SE Second Ave. Admission is free. Call 305-579-6675.
Not so long ago when black bathers wanted to play in the ocean, they were restricted to the beach on Virginia Key. It was the only "colored" stretch of sand in South Florida. For nearly twenty years public access has been severely restricted, but now the beach and 80 acres of parkland are being considered for development by the revenue-hungry City of Miami. If the city has its way, developers will construct a luxury eco-campground on the site, potentially robbing residents of yet another significant historical site. Today from 10:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. the park will be open to all for a Public History-Gathering Session at Virginia Key. Local activists hope to preserve the area by establishing a commemorative civil rights park there. Today visitors can tour the area and hear noted environmentalists Audrey and Frank Peterman discuss the condition and fate of the beach. Those who frequented Virginia Key when it was segregated are invited to share their memories for a video documentary being compiled by representatives from the Black Archives History and Research Foundation of South Florida. Meet at the beach, which you'll find by turning left on the last road before you reach the Bear Cut bridge to Key Biscayne. Admission is free. Call 305-751-9791.
Fakin' it. Everybody's done it at least once in their lives. But not as many people are as good at it as artists are. Sometimes it takes teams of scientists, archaeologists, and art historians to find out whether a work of art is genuine or bogus. The exhibition Treasures of Deceit: Archaeology and the Forger's Craft explores the process experts go through to authenticate artwork. The interactive show features gold and silver vessels, marble sculptures, and elegant jewelry, which can be examined by viewers via an ultraviolet light display, magnifying glasses, and x-ray photographs. Today is your last day to catch "Treasures" and "Artist/Author: Contemporary Artists' Books," an exhibition surveying book and magazine production as an art form at the University of Miami's Lowe Art Museum, 1301 Stanford Dr., Coral Gables. Admission is five dollars. Call 305-284-3535.
Yes, it's really depressing when the home team stinks. So bring along the Prozac as an aperitif to the hot dogs, peanuts, and pretzels you'll likely scarf down in frustration as you watch the one-time World Series-winning Florida Marlins take to the diamond against the New York Mets at Pro Player Stadium (2269 NW 199th St.). The Marlins open their season today at 4:05 p.m. with the first of three games. If you can't make it to the ballpark for opening day, the teams also play tomorrow and Wednesday at 7:05 p.m. Tickets range from $2-$110. Call 305-930-4487.