Grand Hotel des Etrangers: Does the thought of staying in a hotel and sleeping in an unfamiliar bed give you nightmares? Perhaps that (and the poetry of Claude Beausoleil) is what inspired Montreal-based Victor Pilon and Michel Lemieux to create this stage production, which is on its way to the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C., but first makes a stop in Miami for the Miami Light Project. This unsettling fusion of stage and cinema features two live actors communing with virtual characters and holographic images that embody their memories and dreams. Showtime is 8:00 tonight and tomorrow at the Colony Theater (1040 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach). Tickets cost $20 for the show either evening; $35 for tomorrow's performance and meet-the-artist reception afterward. Call 531-3747. (NK)
Miami City Ballet: South Florida's foremost ballet troupe bounces back into the Jackie Gleason Theater of the Performing Arts (1700 Washington Ave., Miami Beach) this weekend with its third program of the season, featuring La Casa de Bernarda Alba, a world premiere by resident choreographer Jimmy Gamonet De Los Heros. Tony Award-winning composer Richard Adler provides the original score for the work, which is based on Federico Garcia Lorca's sinister drama about a stern widowed matriarch and her five conniving daughters. The bill also includes August Bournoville's Italian Suite and George Balanchine's Raymonda Variations. Performances take place tonight and tomorrow at 8:00, with a 2:00 p.m. matinee Sunday. Tickets range from $17 to $55. Call 532-4880. (NK)
Anson Funderburgh and the Rockets with Sam Myers: Fifteen years ago Anson Funderburgh and Sam Myers met at the George Street Grocery. They didn't bump carts; they bumped notes, so to speak. The Grocery is not a supermarket but a Jackson, Mississippi, nightclub where Funderburgh's blues ensemble the Rockets performed on a regular basis. One evening harmonica player/singer Sam Myers sat in and so impressed Funderburgh with his gritty voice and boisterous harp playing that when the Rockets' singer departed four years later, the band's leader quickly recruited Myers to take his place. In 1996, to commemorate their tenth anniversary together, Funderburgh and Myers recorded That's What They Want on the Black Top label. The album contains their distinctive original tunes and covers of Little Willie John's "I'm Shakin'" and Delbert McClinton's "Monkey Around." At Stella Blue (1661 Meridian Ave., Miami Beach) at midnight the band hopes to give you what you want -- a rousing show. Admission is ten dollars. Call 532-4788. (NK)
Miami Festival of Discovery: See Thursday.
Luis Miguel: A screen and song sensation since the age of twelve, Luis Miguel has the megastar thing down pat. At sixteen he signed a long-term contract with Warner Music International and has since released a dozen albums of pop tunes and romantic boleros that appeal to fans of all ages and which have gone gold and platinum all over the world. He has won a multitude of awards. He recorded "Come Fly with Me" with Frank Sinatra for Ol' Blue Eyes's album Duets II. He's got a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. Now a mere 27, Miguel continues his seemingly endless star trip with an concert tour, coming to the Miami Arena (721 NW First Ave.) tonight and tomorrow. A few obstructed-view seats remain for tonight's show; good seats are available for tomorrow's 8:00 p.m. concert. Tickets range from $35 to $60. Call 530-4400. (NK)
International Map Fair: So you failed geography, but somehow you still love maps -- even though you have difficulty reading them. For the next two days you can go absolutely map-mad at this event, which welcomes dealers, collectors, and experts from all parts of the globe to the Historical Museum of Southern Florida (101 W. Flagler St.). Today from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. attend a panel discussion on the theft and security of historic maps, listen to professor Gunter Schilder from Utrecht University in the Netherlands deliver the keynote address on the golden age of Dutch cartography, or mingle with other aficionados in the marketplace or at a cocktail reception. From 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. tomorrow take a boat tour of Biscayne Bay with historian Paul George, hang out on land and look at more maps, or attend a workshop on collecting by antique map dealer Robert Ross. Forty-five dollars gets you into events and program sessions all weekend except the boat tour, which costs $20 extra; one-day admission is $25. If you just want to see the marketplace or have an expert evaluate your maps, admission is four dollars. Call 375-1492. (NK)
Miami Beach Festival of the Arts: Another outdoor festival beckons. It's going to be crowded. Do you really want to step out of your house? Of course you do. It's sunny and cool; the great winter weather is a large part of the reason you live here. Okay, it's the main reason. In its 24th year, the Miami Beach Festival of the Arts is a two-day affair, providing the usual abundance of artists displaying their paintings, sculpture, jewelry, photographs, etchings, and more: a children's area to keep the little ones entertained and out of your hair. Performing artists rambling through the park all day. Exotic food galore. The festivities run from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. today and tomorrow at North Shore Open Space Park (81st to 85th streets and Collins Avenue, Miami Beach). Admission is free. Call 673-7730. (NK)
Jazz Under the Stars: Hang out with animals and listen to some smooth music at Metrozoo (12400 SW 152nd St.) from 6:00 to 10:00 tonight. Actually, the only animals you may be dealing with are other concertgoers, since Jazz Under the Stars takes place not inside the zoo itself but on the concert field across the street. So bring a chair or a blanket and get ready to claim a spot to hear jazz ensemble Athenas, guitarist Joyce Cooling, and saxophonist Boney James. Tickets cost $15 in advance, $20 at the gate, which closes at 8:00 p.m. Call 238-0703. (NK)
Miami Festival of Discovery: See Thursday.
Grand Hotel des Etrangers: See Friday.
Miami City Ballet: See Friday.
Miami Film Festival Closing-Night Gala: Cuban soulman Francisco Fellove pioneered Spanish-language scat singing, bringing his cool vocals and saucy dance steps to son and guaracha melodies in the Forties and Fifties. While "El Gran" Fellove is best-known for being a cocreator (with Jose Antonio Mendez) of the filin (feeling) movement in Cuban music, he is also remembered for his playful version of Nino Rivera's song "El Jamaiquino," and his own compositions "Mango MangYe" and "Dos Caminos," recorded by Olga Guillot. In his customary white tux and patent leather shoes, he's a familiar figure dancing the mambo in movies from the Fifties filmed in Mexico City, where the singer has lived since 1952. Still swinging at age 75, Fellove, who last performed in Miami 30 years ago, sings this evening at the Miami Film Festival's closing-night gala. The fiesta starts at 9:00 p.m. at the Streets of Mayfair in front of Planet Hollywood (3390 Mary St., Coconut Grove). A glimpse of "El Gran" will cost you, but the $100 ticket price supports next year's film festival. Call 377-3456. (JC)
Miami City Ballet: See Friday.
Luis Miguel: See Saturday.
International Map Fair: See Saturday.
Miami Beach Festival of the Arts: See Saturday.
Butterfly Lightning Series: The reading series with the strange name, now in its fifth year, returns to Tobacco Road (626 S. Miami Ave.) for its spring season. Over the next ten weeks Miami's oldest watering hole will reverberate with words by poets and fiction writers from the University of Miami, Florida International University, Miami-Dade Community College, Broward Community College, and the business, law, and journalistic communities. Some readers are students, some are teachers, some are journalists, some are published (or soon-to-be published) authors. We hope that some will keep us glued to our seats and away from another round at the bar. Tonight's readers are fiction writer/historian Karla Gottlieb and John Balaban, professor of creative writing at the University of Miami and a recent National Book Award finalist for his poetry collection Locusts at the Edge of Summer. The action starts at 8:00 p.m. Admission is free. Call 237-1317. (NK)
Black Florida History Photographic Exhibition: Marvin Dunn's new book, Black Miami in the Twentieth Century, probes the pride and prejudice experienced by South Florida's black community for the past 100 years. Extensive photos included in the book capture historic images such as the heyday of nightclubs in Colored Town, the civil rights movement, and the 1989 riots in Overtown. Dunn, an associate professor of psychology at Florida International University, expanded the scope of his pictorial research to curate "Black Florida History," an exhibition at the William and Joan Lehman Theatre on Miami-Dade Community College's North Campus (11380 NW 27th Ave.). More than 250 photos included in the show document black life in Florida, from early homesteaders to current residents. The exhibition runs through February 28. Admission is free. Call 237-1881. (JC)
Wayne Newton: Las Vegas can be a tough town. It's been the downfall of many, and is quite possibly the only place on Earth that lounge performer Wayne Newton can earn a million dollars per month and still have to declare bankruptcy, as he did in '92. (Even Mr. Las Vegas gets caught behind the eight ball once in a while, but he's not afraid to help out fellow entertainers when they're down on their luck. He reportedly bailed out Diff'rent Strokes child star Dana Plato after she held up a video store a few years ago.) Lately he's been spending a lot of time in Branson, Missouri, but Wayne hits the road at times too. When he starts belting out "Red Roses for a Blue Lady" and "Danke Schoen," you too will be glad he's there for you at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts (201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale). The show begins at 8:00 p.m. Tickets range from $25 to $45. Call 954-462-0222. (LB)
Black Florida History Photographic Exhibition: See Tuesday.