Calendar for the week

thursday
october 23
Writers Harvest National Reading: Like a good book? Like it even better when the author reads it to you? Then you'll love this. Tonight is Writers Harvest, the nation's largest literary benefit. At 600 bookstores nationwide, 2000 of your favorite authors read from their works simultaneously. Attend a reading and buy something, and you'll make a difference. All events will occur at 7:00 p.m. at Barnes & Noble bookstores, which will donate a percentage of the day's sales to Share Our Strength for distribution to two national anti-hunger/anti-poverty groups. In Plantation (591 S. University Dr.), local big-time novelist John Dufresne reads from his second novel, Love Warps the Mind a Little. Omnipresent humorist Dave Barry reads whatever strikes his fancy at the West Kendall store (12405 Kendall Dr.). Call 800-955-8278. (NK)

Luciano: Luciano rolls into the Cameo Theatre (1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach) tonight with a spliff in his hand, a heavy message in his heart, and golden pipes in his throat. As much on a missionary trek as on a concert tour, he sees himself as chosen to communicate Jah's positive messages. Considering that in the past decade the predominant lyrical content of Jamaica's dancehall tunes has been guns, violence, and dogging women, Luciano's work is considered fresher than sticky cannabis. Although Luciano isn't half as profound as Bob Marley, vocally he smokes him. Showtime is 10:00 p.m., with opening act Sizzla and the Firehouse Crew. Tickets cost $25 and $30. Call 532-0922. (LB)

friday
october 24
North Miami Orchid Show: Orchids get their day in the sun (or in the shade) today, tomorrow, and Sunday at the Gold Coast Orchid Society's 28th annual North Miami Orchid Show. Stroll through the North Miami Armory (13250 NE Eighth Ave.), see more live orchids than you've ever seen, listen to yet another seminar on how to develop a green thumb; then buy more plants, take them home, and kill them. The show runs from 10:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. today and tomorrow and from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Sunday. Admission is five dollars. Call 892-8318. (NK)

Homestead Art Center Fine-Craft Show and Sale: Art in Homestead? Yes! It's not just a place to pick strawberries. Homestead is attempting to cultivate its own art scene, and the Homestead Art Center (37 NW First St.), host to a variety of workshops conducted by professionals and an exhibition space that houses artists' shows, is the current hub. A reception this evening from 5:30 to 9:30 kicks off the center's first fine-craft show and sale. The juried exhibition runs until early January and features works in clay, enamel, mosaic, fiber, and mixed media by several South Florida artists including Juanita May, Pablo Cano, Ellie Schneiderman, and Richard Warholic. The gallery is open from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Tuesday through Sunday. Admission is free. Call 248-1060 for more information. (NK)

saturday
october 25
MetroBoo!: Does the thought of taking the kiddies trick-or-treating this year sound about as appealing as liposuction? Well then, throw them to the lions. Today and tomorrow from 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., drag the little ones over to Metrozoo (12400 SW 152nd St.) for MetroBoo! It's a Halloween bash for children set among the fierce creatures; kids decked out in costume will be admitted free. They can have their faces painted, participate in costume contests, and watch Sesame Street stars perform. Then let them spend hours collecting candy among the lions and tigers and bears, oh boy! Admission is eight dollars for adults. Call 251-0403. (NK)

The Return of the Monster Mash: Dracula will be the only one wearing black tie at this museum fundraiser tonight at 9:00, when artists get to decorate themselves instead of the walls at the Museum of Contemporary Art (770 NE 125 St., North Miami). MoCA's pre-Halloween fete is an artsy affair (natch) and originality is prized -- the weirder the better (a guy in a nuclear fallout suit won the costume contest at the museum's first Monster Mash two years ago). So forget the rented costume and make your own. Artist Mark Handforth will host the contest, DJ Mark Leventhal will spin tunes, an astrologer will chart destinies, and jack-o'-lanterns created by local artists will be auctioned. Tickets cost $35 in advance, $40 at the door. Call 893-6211. (JC)

Angels: Do you know what PoMoFunk is? You don't? That's okay, neither did we. But then we got this nifty little press release for something called Angels that included the phrase "trademarked dance form PoMoFunk." After we got over the idea of trademarking a dance (you think Los Del Rio trademarked the macarena?), we wondered what the heck PoMoFunk was. Turns out it's a blend of ballet, modern dance, and hip-hop created by contemporary choreographer Esaias Johnson. The Dance Esaias company and its trademarked dance form can be seen tonight at 8:30 at the Colony Theater (1040 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach), performing Angels, a show featuring dance, poetry, and music ranging from rap to classical. Tickets cost $15. FoMo info call 674-1026 . (JO)

North Miami Orchid Show: See Friday.
Homestead Art Center Fine-Craft Show and Sale: See Friday.

sunday
october 26
New Times 10K: Excuse us a moment while we blow our horn. Apparently someone somewhere in this corporation thought it would be a lovely gesture to sponsor a race at 7:30 on a Sunday morning. It's in its third year now, so we must be doing something right. The festivities begin at Bayfront Park (301 Biscayne Blvd.), where you can run a 10K, skate a 10K, or run/walk a 5K. Don't be discouraged if you aren't athletically inclined; you still may win part of the $5000 purse, because the competition could be really slim. How many people are crazy enough to show up at that ungodly hour? Just us slothful volunteers. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Miami Bridge Foundation. Registration fees range from $15 to $20. Call 571-7598 for more details. (NK)

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