Shredded chicken was flavorful (if not particularly moist or generous) in a burrito topped with red sauce and melted cheese, but unfortunately it didn't survive its hot-oil treatment in a chimichanga. The overly fried tortilla envelope was greasy and unappetizing, and stuffed with so many beans that the chicken was obscured. What little poultry there was turned out to be crunchy strands rather than tender shreds. Sour cream dominated the preparation, overpowering the sauce and cheese that had worked well in the burrito. And a side of Mexican yellow rice (which, along with beans, accompanied all the Mexican entrees) featured hardened grains and shrunken vegetables so petrified they might as well have been excavated from a pyramid.
Quesadillas were positively a disaster, the cheese inside a pitalike tortilla hardly melted. This dish was matched by a dismal beef taco, bland ground meat served cold and greasy in a fried and refried corn shell. Mar y tierra improved our lot, in that it provided an outlet for our frustration: the steak knife and cutting board upon which a large steak had been placed over a bed of shredded lettuce, unripe tomatoes, and pico de gallo. Actually, the meat, a tender flank steak, was juicy from a tangy marinade. But although the four jumbo shrimp that partnered it had a spicy kick, they had been grilled too long and were dry.
6780 Collins Ave.
Miami Beach, FL 33141
Category: Restaurant > Colombian
Region: Mid/North Beach
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Carne asada, a "Colombian special of the day," was desiccated enough to wear as a belt. This steak, a cut similar to the mar y tierra, came with old, lumpy white rice, a salad devoid of dressing, and the soup of the day. That soup was supposed to be sopa de tostones, but the kitchen substituted the aforementioned chicken when it ran out.
A "house special" contained an assortment of Colombian delicacies. Grilled chorizo was particularly good, pungent and piquant, while the fried egg over white rice was perfectly done and the side dish of half an avocado soft and ripe. But the carne asada was burned and tough and the chicharron, though it actually had chunks of pork attached to the rind, was nearly inedible. An arepa -- that traditional cornbread -- fared the worst. Barbara Karoff, author of South American Cooking, writes that "few of the tricks used to make arepas more palatable really do the trick for us. Even at their best -- which is not the way they are eaten by most people -- they are merely pleasant." She might have done her research for that cookbook at El Tablazo.
The restaurant's lineup of Colombian dishes -- fried steak, broiled chicken, rice, salad -- could represent just about any South American nation. I'm not sure why El Tablazo is shying away from its own complex and fascinating heritage. What happened, I wonder, to the stews and casseroles that are the trademarks of Colombian cuisine? Where are the potatoes and fresh fish? I'd much rather be let down by something that at least looks authentic.
Forget about getting a Colombian dessert. We had to go back to Mexico to finish the meal. And while it might seem impossible to screw up fried ice cream, El Tablazo succeeded. Barely able to contain a scoop of softening ice cream, the coating tasted freezer-burnt, as if it had been made earlier in the day and refrozen. Interestingly, the ice cream itself was Neapolitan flavor, that vanilla-chocolate-strawberry combo your mother always insisted was your favorite. A slice of German chocolate cake, completely out of context, was actually an improvement. But I'd much rather my sweet tooth be satisfied by mango pudding or those little cookies known as huevos quimbos (egg sweets). Then when it comes my turn for the dentist's chair I can say, "This tooth chewed on beautiful food. This tooth knew nothing but beautiful food."
El Tablazo
6780 Collins Ave, Miami Beach; 861-1199. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner daily from 8:00 a.m. to 10:30 p.m.
Bean soup
$2.75
Chicken burrito
$6.00
House special
$7.00
Mar y tierra
$12.00
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