Magical History Bus/Video Tour: Everybody seems to do everything while driving in their cars -- talk on the phone, shave, apply makeup -- so why not watch television too? The ingenious crew at the Louis Wolfson II Media History Center believed it could be done and is now proving it with this unusual tour. Catch the bus at 9:30 a.m. at the Miami-Dade Public Library (101 W. Flagler St.) and take a trip through time. As you are chauffeured around town, gaze outside at the local landmarks, and then look up at strategically placed video monitors that will be broadcasting images of those very same places from archival footage dating as far back as 1920. Wolfson Center director Steven Davidson and professor Paul George will be your guides. Fare is $15. Call 375-1505. (NK)

Caribbean Percussion Conference: See Thursday.
Miami City Ballet: See Friday.

september 28
Falstaff: Cinema Vortex continues its screenings of great and overlooked films with one considered not so great by some critics, but written and directed by, and starring, Orson Welles nevertheless. In this 1966 ego-driven vehicle (also known as Chimes at Midnight), Welles dissected scenes from five Shakespeare plays -- The Merry Wives of Windsor, Henry V, Richard II, and Henry IV (parts I and II) -- adapted them as a screenplay, and cast himself in the starring role as Sir John Falstaff. This typically Wellesian feat (considered either an incomprehensible mess or just another expression of the auteur's genius) shows at noon at the Alliance Cinema (927 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach). Admission is four dollars. Call 531-8504. (NK)

Jamie Blake: Blake claims her secret ambition is to join the FBI if things don't work out for her in the music business. From the sound of the aggressive yet hook-laden tunes on her self-titled CD, the newcomer might have to shelve her desire to be a G-woman for a while. She kicks off a U.S. tour of Hard Rock Cafes at 8:00 p.m. at the one in Bayside (401 Biscayne Blvd.). Don't laugh; it's not such a bad gig for aspiring rockers. Soul Coughing, Sheryl Crow, Better Than Ezra, and the Wallflowers are just a few of the artists who started out this way. Admission is free. Call 377-3110. (NK)

Miami City Ballet: See Friday.
Pro Am Beach Volleyball Series: See Saturday.
Children's Art Festival: See Saturday.

september 29
City Theatre Festival Series: This tireless troupe, which recently staged an exhaustive festival of various one-act plays titled Summer Shorts at University of Miami's Ring Theatre, is back from summer vacation and on a mission to expand its programming. Tonight the actors test their endurance (and yours) with readings of a slew of short plays by local and national playwrights (some of whom will be present to discuss their works), as they select the plays they will produce in the coming year. The audience is invited to participate in the decision-making. It all gets read or acted out at Books & Books (296 Aragon Ave., Coral Gables) at 8:00 p.m. Admission is free. Call 442-4408. (NK)

september 30
Peter Nero and Pops at the Philharmonic: In some people's opinion, conductor Peter Nero should be led straight to the old folks' home and be called "Pops" instead of being allowed to direct the Florida Philharmonic's Pops Series. But the energetic conductor and pianist just keeps going strong. For a concert titled "Big Band Sounds with Diva" tonight at 8:00 at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts (201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale), Nero is joined by more women than he can shake a baton at: a fifteen-piece all-female, hard-swinging jazz ensemble known as Diva. Fifteen women? Hope he took his vitamins! Tickets range from $20 to $60. Call 930-1812. (NK)

The Colored Museum: Breathe a sigh of relief. This is not another show at another museum. It's a musical -- almost. Billed as a "near-musical revue," this play features eleven spirited and satirical vignettes on the subject of "colored" history in America. Black American playwright George C. Wolfe also won a Tony Award for directing the Broadway production of Angels in America and wrote the books for Jelly's Last Jam and Spunk. Performances are tonight and tomorrow at 8:00 at UM's Ring Theatre (1380 Miller Dr., Coral Gables). Tickets cost $12. Call 284-3355. (NK)

october 1
DependanceIndependance: French artist Annette Messager doesn't like to wear her heart on her sleeve. She prefers to hang it from the ceiling. In her first major project since 1995 (when the Museum of Modern Art in New York presented a retrospective of her work) Messager, influenced by deconstructive and feminist theories, has created a giant heart-shape installation made of more than 500 hanging elements: stuffed animals, net bags filled with objects, words made of colored fabric, photographs, yarn, mirrors -- you name it. You have until November 30 at the Museum of Contemporary Art (770 NE 125th St., North Miami) to look into this artist's heart. The museum is open from 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday, and noon to 5:00 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is four dollars. Call 893-6211. (NK)

The Colored Museum: See Wednesday.

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