By Nate "Igor" Smith
By Abel Folgar
By Kat Bein
By Jacob Katel
By Karli Evans
By Jose D. Duran
By Pablo Chacon Alvarez
If visions of stockings and sugarplums dance in your head; if dreams of silver bells and cockle shells disturb your sleep; if you can no longer tell which is worse, family or fruitcake -- well, you need to get out more, my friend. And what better way to warm the heart -- and get away from Aunt Jane and Uncle Howie -- than a charity event. The Cameo Theatre (1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 532-0922) hosts Babylon: Inner-g tonight (Thursday) to benefit the Family Resource Center, an agency dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. The party is geared toward young adults who want to party in a positive and drug-free atmosphere, but it's open to anyone and everyone who just wants to have fun -- and remember it the next day. Doors open at 10:30 p.m. and don't close till the the last party kid goes home. Put on those dancing shoes and support Santa's littlest of helpers. If reckless abandon is more your style, head on over to Ready Bar (560 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 534-8847) on Sunday, December 22, when they kick off the debut of Mulberry Sunday, a dinner and show that will suit everyone from the ultra-trendoids to the trendoids' grandmothers. Dinner begins at 7:30 p.m., which gives you just enough time to gobble down your food and have a cognac before the show starts at 9:00. Special guest drag queens Adora, Taffy, and Marvella both perform at and host the all-out extravaganza with a special performer each week -- anything from a fire eater to a contortionist -- adding to the gaiety. But why stop there? Stick around for Ready's late-night Sunday party Recycle, with lounge-y tunes by DJ Top Cat and enough campiness to get even Kris Kringle on the dance floor.
Society Hill, "Caliente." Salsa your way into the wee hours with a Latin night hosted by DJs Raza Valencia and Christian. 627 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 534-9993.
Polly Esther's, "Wet Dream." Local superstar promoters Bobby Radical and Richie Rich host a night where Seventies rock meets Eighties new wave with DJ Rick Von Halle at the helm. 841 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 535-5633.
Marlin Bar, "Ulypian Thursday." DJ Snowhite quietly rocks the crowd as locals and tourists alike try to revive the art of stimulating conversation. 1200 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 673-8770.
821, "Thursday Cabaret." Mary D.'s Sapphoesque love riot of dancing, drinking, and cruising. 821 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach, 534-0087.
Edge Theater. Start the weekend off with an evening of interactive laughs with Comedy theater group Punch 59's scripted comedy, character pieces, standup, and -- best of all -- audience participation. 405 Espanola Way, Miami Beach, 531-6083.
Kitchen Club, "Ladies Night." Progressive, new wave, industrial, and Gothic music playing in two rooms, with free admission for the ladies until midnight. 3701 NE Second Ave., 754-0777.
Bermuda Bar. South Florida's biggest dance party is broadcast live on Y-100 with DJ Jade Alexander taking the reins of party culture and giving them a good pull. 3509 NE 163rd St., North Miami Beach, 945-0196.
Bash. DJ Marc Sacheli dispenses the latest and greatest dance music in the main room, while international DJ Ivano Bellini pumps out world beats under the stars in the back-yard Magic Garden. 655 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 538-8858.
Tudor Hotel, "Lady Love." A chic, laid-back party for women who love women, with DJs Aaron, Brandon, and Arode Von P. on the wheels of steel. 1111 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 534-2442.
Groove Jet, "The Church." Alternative in every sense of the word, with DJs Carlos Menendez, Dino, and Charles Arnold pumping up two rooms of British invasion, retro, industrial dance, and trip-hop tunes. 323 23rd St., Miami Beach, 532-2002.
La Covacha, "La Carcel." A Cuban country roadhouse packed with patrons dancing to Latin rock. The club where a good time is always the first priority. 10730 NW 25th St., West Dade, 594-3717.
The Grind, "Latin Rock." You won't need this coffeehouse's beans to get you movin' when local rockeros en espanol ANada? do their thing, but a tasty jolt of caffeine just might be as good a way as any to start off your week. 12573 Biscayne Blvd., North Miami, 899-9979.
Berlin Bar, "Cozy Monday." Party promoter Brigitte Andrade presents a night of hot jazz and cool people. Tonight Leesa Richards and Jerald Dorsett team up for a night full of holiday hits. 661 Washington Ave., Miami Beach 674-0864.
Comedy Zone, "Club Flav-ahh!" Savor the flavor of DJ Miik as he steps behind the controls, dispensing deep and dirty underground tracks; with complimentary espresso all night long in case you need an added jolt. 1121 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 892-6979.
Jillian's, "College Night." Drink specials, cheap chicken wings, and pool, the essentials of youth entertainment. 12070 N. Kendall Dr., Kendall, 595-0070.
Marsbar, "Christmas Cheer." It's all about jingle bell rock -- and saying goodbye -- when local punk popsters Quit take the stage for their last show ever; with drink specials all night to drown your sorrows. 8505 Mills Dr., Town & Country Center, Kendall, 271-6909.