Calendar for the week

thursday
october 17
Kiss of the Spider Woman: Argentine actress Sandra Guida steamed up the stage when she took on the role of Aurora/Spider Woman in the original Buenos Aires production of this Tony Award-winning musical. Tonight at the Gusman Center for the Performing Arts (174 E. Flagler St.), Guida grinds to the torrid Latin American-inspired melodies of John Kander and Fred Ebb's score as she reprises the role in this touring production. Up-and-coming stage actors Brian Barefoot and Ross Stoner costar as Molina" and "Valentin, respectively. Performances run through Sunday at 8:00, with 2:00 matinees on Saturday and Sunday. Tickets range in price from $21 to $41. Call 372-0925. (GC)

Walt Disney's World on Ice: Mice, not rats, overrun the Miami Arena (721 NW First Ave.) tonight as Mickey, Minnie, and a wide assembly of Disney characters, including Cinderella, Mowgli, Ariel, and 101 Dalmations, hit the ice in an all-new production. The characters will present favorite scenes from Disney flicks such as The Little Mermaid, The Jungle Book, and Fantasia. Tickets range in price from $9 to $28. Performances run today at 10:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m., tomorrow at 7:30 p.m., and Saturday and Sunday at noon, 3:30 (bilingual performance), and 7:30 p.m. Call 530-4444. (GC)

ComedySportz's Gilda's Club Benefit: ComedySportz (1432 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale), an improvisational comedy show in which two teams battle for laughs and points in a head-to-head competition based on audience suggestions, presents a benefit performance for Gilda's Club, a support organization for people with cancer and their families. The "Gilda" in Gilda's Club was the celebrated comedian and Saturday Night Live cast member Gilda Radner, whose life was claimed by ovarian cancer; the organization was established last year by her widower, actor Gene Wilder. Showtime is 8:30. Tickets cost ten dollars. Call 954-565-1369. (GC)

Witness to History: Cuban Missile Crisis: The Louis Wolfson II Media History Center offers a four-part seminar series focusing on the Cuban Missile Crisis today at the Main Public Library (101 W. Flagler St). The lectures will include screenings of local television coverage of the events leading up to the crisis (much of which has not been seen since it aired originally in November 1962), as well as excerpts of Fifties- and Sixties-era documentaries reflecting the Cold War atmosphere, and recent productions featuring archival footage. Media Center director Steven Davidson, veteran news correspondent Tom Glennon, and local historian Dr. Paul George will discuss the events and the footage. The sessions begin at 9:00 and 11:00 a.m. and at 2:00 and 3:30 p.m. Admission is free. Call 375-4527. (GC)

friday
october 18
Hunk-A-Mania: We at "Calendar" do not advocate exploitation of any sort, especially not that of strapping, half-naked young men. That said, we still feel obligated to inform you that the American Dream Team Male Revue, one of the top male burlesque troupes, is performing tonight and tomorrow night at 8:00 at the Parker Playhouse (707 NE Eighth St., Fort Lauderdale). Why aren't these guys performing at Les Bares or Goldfellas, you might ask (not that you'd know the names of those strip clubs right off the top of your head)? Because they aren't strippers! They are a dynamic, exotic, sexy entertainment concept for the Nineties. And they are really, really buff. Tickets cost $20 and $25. Call 954-764-0700. (GC)

Kiss of the Spider Woman: See Thursday.

saturday
october 19
Ballet Folklorico de Mexico: A kaleidoscope of colors and a flurry of sounds flood the Jackie Gleason Theater of the Performing Arts (1700 Washington Ave., Miami Beach) tonight at 8:00 as Mexico's preeminent dance company performs. Under the leadership of founder and artistic director Amalia Hernandez, the company has showcased Mexico's richly mixed ethnic traditions -- a combination of native, European, African, Middle Eastern, and Asian influences -- throughout the world for 44 years. During this tour, the Ballet presents the U.S. premiere of Hernandez's Chihuahua, a poetic dance celebrating the Tarahumaras, an indigenous people from the state of Chihuahua whose songs and dances are inspired by the springtime rituals of birds and animals. Tickets range in price from $25 to $45. Additional performances take place tomorrow at 2:00 and 7:00 p.m. Call 673-7300. (GC)

Gregory Isaacs: They call him the Cool Ruler, and for the better part of the last twenty years Gregory Isaacs has lived up to the handle, with a smooth brand of reggae that combines the fire of Rastafarian protest with the supple, smoochy slink of lovers' rock. He's recorded about a jillion albums since his mid-Seventies debut, nearly all of which have produced hits, from "Black and White" and "Mr. Know It All" to "Love Is Overdue," "Rumours," and "Big All Around." The Cool One will be performing tonight with DJ Waggy-Tee at the Cameo Theatre (1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach). Showtime is 10:00, and tickets cost $20 (VIP tickets in the upstairs section go for $25). Call 532-0922. (JF)

M/Testament of Dr. Mabuse: The Cinema Vortex film series pays tribute to legendary German director Fritz Lang with two of his darkest, most disturbing films. Prototypical creepy guy Peter Lorre makes his screen debut in 1931's M, playing today at noon at the Alliance Cinema (927 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach). Lang's first sound film, M is a suspenseful, psychological crime drama about a child killer on the loose in Berlin. Tomorrow at the same time, Lang continues his obsession with the dark side of human nature in 1933's Testament of Dr. Mabuse, one of a series of films chronicling the attempts of a mad doctor (a parable version of Adolf Hitler, said Lang) to dominate the world through criminal endeavors. Admission to each screening is four dollars. Call 531-8504. (GC)

Operation Green Leaves Gala: Haiti is still facing a grievous environmental crisis: The island nation's forests are being depleted at an alarming rate. Operation Green Leaves is an effort to restore Haiti's forests, and the organization is hosting its fourth annual auction and fundraising dinner tonight at 6:00 at the Port of Miami's Pier Ten (1015 N. American Way). Hot Haitian band Top Vice headlines the evening; the Dance for Joy Caribbean dance troupe also performs. United Nations environmental specialist Dr. Noel Brown will be on hand to discuss Haiti's deforestation dilemma. Tickets cost $40. Call 858-7110. (GC)

Maria: It's not a girl, it's a local band. And a damn rockin' one at that, layering Seventies hard-rock riffs reminiscent of Journey and Cheap Trick, arty jazz arrangements, angry yet soulful vocals, and Doors-esque keyboard lines over a serious Nineties alterna-rock edge. Maria performs tracks from its new self-titled, self-produced disc tonight at the South Beach Pub (717 Washington Ave., Miami Beach). The evening opens at 11:00 with an acoustic set by Love Canal; after the show, members of Maria, the Underbellys, I Don't Know, Sixo, Manchild, Butterclub, the Derek Cintron Band, and others will congregate on-stage for an all-out musical jam. Admission is five dollars. Call 532-7821. (GC)

Kiss of the Spider Woman: See Thursday.

sunday
october 20
First Flamenco Festival of Miami: Feet stomp, fingers snap, skirts swirl, and castanets clap as Cafe Miro (448 Espanola Way, Miami Beach) hosts an outdoor flamenco festival, running concurrently with the world's biggest flamenco fest in Seville, Spain. Twenty-three dancers, guitarists, cantaores (singers), and palmeros (clappers) strut their stuff, performing soleas, alegrias, tientos, tarantos, and various other styles of this passionate Spanish art form. Admission is free. Call 532-6315. AOle! (GC)

Kiss of the Spider Woman: See Thursday.
Ballet Folklorico de Mexico: See Saturday.
M/Testament of Dr. Mabuse: See Saturday.

monday
october 21
Alex Sanger: Planned Parenthood of Greater Miami hosts an evening with Alex Sanger, the CEO of New York City's Planned Parenthood and grandson of PP founder Margaret Sanger (who was indicted in 1915 for merely sending information about birth control through the mail), tonight at 6:00 at the Grand Bay Hotel (2699 S. Bayshore Dr., Coconut Grove). The fundraising cocktail reception will include the presentation of volunteer awards, plus a keynote speech by Sanger, who will discuss the importance of teen-pregnancy prevention efforts, as well as threats by the political and religious right to restrict reproductive choice. Among Sanger's efforts has been a clinical training initiative, which has already taught 55 OB/GYN residents to perform abortions. Admission is by donation ($35 minimum). Call 441-6677. (GC)

tuesday
october 22
Jawbox: The mountain of records this D.C.-based foursome has released over the last seven years -- on revered indies such as Dischord, City Slang, and Simple Machines, as well as their major-label home at Atlantic -- hardly does justice to the sonic wallop of their ferocious, relentless live sound. Their taut, angular songs come alive on stage, where their frenzied punk-flavored rock combines sharp, tugging melodies with a relentless, darting rhythm section that weaves around prickly guitar patterns. On their new eponymous album, Jawbox flesh out the mix with flourishes of sax and acoustic guitar, which might finally get their stuff on the radio. Don't wait for that, though: Go hear 'em tonight at Cheers (2490 SW Seventeenth Ave.). The all-ages show starts at 8:00 and the cover charge is a paltry six dollars. Call 857-0041 for more information. (JF)

Robert Bork: Controversial and ultraconservative Supreme Court nominee, circuit court judge, lawyer, educator, and right-wing poster boy Robert Bork explores the deterioration of American society in his book, Slouching Towards Gomorrah: Modern Liberalism and American Decline. Bork maintains that twentieth-century liberalism has had a destructive effect on the nation's ideals of liberty and equality, bringing about economic disaster, social fragmentation, and a catastrophic decline in values, and offers the classical liberalism of the Nineteenth Century as a model for society. Oh yeah, and he also takes aim at the media, feminism, race relations, affirmative action, religion, and American pop culture. Gotta love him! Books & Books hosts an evening with Bork tonight at 8:00 at the Coral Gables Congregational Church (3010 DeSoto Blvd.). Admission is free. Call 442-4408. (GC)

wednesday
october 23
The Grapes of Wrath: The University of Miami's Jerry Herman Ring Theater (1380 Miller Dr., Coral Gables) presents Frank Galati's 1990 Tony Award-winning adaption of the John Steinbeck classic about the Great Depression. For those of you who never read the book or saw John Ford's legendary film version (for shame!), the story follows a family of impoverished migratory farm workers as they struggle to make their way to California. Performances run tonight through October 26, and October 29 through November 2 at 8:00, with 2:00 matinees on October 26 and November 2. Tickets cost $12 and $15. Call 284-3355. (GC)

Dan Quayle: Nova Southeastern University launches its 1996-97 series of Breakfast Forums with former vice president Dan Quayle. Quayle is considered to have been one of the most active VPs in history, having visited 47 nations and chaired several committees. He now serves on a number of corporate boards and political action committees and recently published his second book, The American Family: Discovering Values That Make Us Strong. Not bad for a guy who don't spell so good and who was depicted in Doonesbury as a feather. The breakfast takes place today at 7:30 a.m. at the Sheraton Design Center (1825 Griffin Rd., Fort Lauderdale). Tickets cost $50. Call 954-475-7699 to reserve a seat. (

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