Contents Under Pressure

Touring with bands you don't really know. ("We're opening for R.E.M. this summer. I don't really know their music. I think I was over in France when they got big. Anyway, my old boyfriend was really into their stuff.")

Having your personal hygiene habits shared with the masses. (During our phone conversation, Glaser managed to spill tea down her shirt, and to burp -- I would say loudly.)

By far the worst part of Lusciousdom is constantly having to face what Glaser calls "the whole girl band thing," the tendency for people to view the band as a novelty act simply because none of them have dicks. It's an old story in rock. "What people have to understand is that we don't look at ourselves as a girl band," Glaser stresses. "Nobody put us together for marketing purposes. We are four people who came together musically and happen to be women. Period."

Glaser can't help but sound a bit annoyed by the topic, though this could be attributed to the fact that she just spilled tea down her shirt, or that she is a born and bred New Yawker. "Yeah, I was raised on the Lower East Side," she boasts. "There was no white kids, only Puerto Ricans and Chinese kids. And some Ukrainians."

Glaser still lives on the Loisada, which the real estate shills now call the East Village. The sounds and syncopation of the city fill both of the group's discs, as if they were recorded in the middle of a traffic jam. Taxis honk, coins rattle, sirens echo. Cunniff's low-key vocals touch on a variety of themes, from self-swallowing relationships ("Deep Shag") to macho ass-wipes ("Energy Sucker") to the holiness of vinyl ("LP Retreat").

Regrettably, the LJs have yet to plumb the depths of a topic that clearly has captivated them for years: basketball. The band owes its name to Sixties hoops star Lucius Jackson, and Glaser remains a devout fan: "I'm, like, a 300-pound basketball fan. I love [Knicks shooting guard] John Starks. He's got that boyish quality that girls love. And ooooohhh, those lips. I also love [Sacramento Kings guard] Bobby Hurley. He's so damn cute. I probably sound like some fucking horny girl, right? I guess that's what happens when you don't have a boyfriend."

The big question, at least for those poor schleps consumed with Miami's image, is whether Luscious Jackson ever will aim their talents at this city. "Kate is really into Gloria Estefan," Glaser says encouragingly. (Hey, Emilio, didja hear that?)

Luscious does Miami -- why not? We've got sun. We've got sin. We've got pigheaded men. Glaser and her posse obviously would be happy to hang around town for video purposes. At least until they get to know the place.

Luscious Jackson performs at 7:00 p.m. Saturday at the Edge, 200 W Broward Blvd, Ft Lauderdale; 525-9333. Tickets cost fourteen dollars.