By Jacob Katel
By Laurie Charles
By Nate "Igor" Smith
By Abel Folgar
By Kat Bein
By Jacob Katel
Ha ha ha! Just a little Dave Barry humor there. In reality, Billy and his Do Something gang want to do all sorts of positive things for our ailing communities, none of which, curiously, have they specified.
While I do not generally associate healing the inner city with shoveling more money into the fast-food industry (or the multinational corporations that run that industry), I'm willing to give these Do Something characters the benefit of the doubt (call it the Billy factor). And anyway, I can probably write it off as a tax deduction.
The important thing, of course, is the music. Unfortunately, though, the music kinda sucks. Actually, let me qualify that. It kinda sucks a lot.
Which is to say there are about four outta ten songs that won't make you heave jalapenos.
They are: "Low," by the always cool-rockin' Cracker; "Slowly, Slowly," by the incomparable Magnapop; "Possession," by the terminally sensitive Sarah McLachlan; and "I'll Take You There," by General Public, who are apparently making their effort at eco-friendly Do Somethingish behavior by recycling this geezer of a tune.
The other six cuts include "Mary Jane," by the once annoying and now just pathetic Spin Doctors; "Tear," by pasty wusses Lotion; and a song called "Return to Innocence," by a band named Enigma (hey man, what a cooooool name). Enigma sounds a lot like the Hare Krishnas who perform outside the Government Center downtown, though the Krishnas have more energy. There is also a song called "Hold Me Up," by the Velvet Crush, who wanted to call themselves the Pasty Wusses, but were worried people would get them confused with Lotion.
Anyways, the folks at corporate central say we consumers should expect plenty more of these nifty product tie-ins, wherein we get the opportunity to buy stuff we don't really need and to pollute a whole bunch of orifices at the same time.
Me, I'm sticking with the Taco Supreme.
By Steven Almond