Odor in the Court

By state law, judges get elected just like politicians -- a system so idiotic it's criminal. Will somebody please reproach the bench?

"My lord, ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you as a resident alien, a stockbroker, and new member of B'Nai B'rith," Cohen announces. "I'm not standing for office. I already have an office, on Brickell Avenue. My qualifications to speak for the candidate Lenny Cooperman is that my dentist is in the same building as he is, and we both work out at the Downtown Athletic Club. He apologizes for not being able to stay tonight, but he has a meeting with an exterminator. I'm not sure if that's a reflection of his views on crime and how to solve it, or what. Finally, I'd like to say to all of you with children that I deal with college planning, so see me if need be."

In the merriment that follows this address, you may find reason enough to vote for Leonard J. Cooperman in the September 8 judicial elections. Or you may find a jolly good reason not to vote at all.

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