Program Notes

My butthorn of the week: An obvious one, but too deserving: Wayne Huizinger. How'd you miss the Sixties, dude? And, as singer Carla Hall points out in a letter she wrote the Blockbuster geek, "Corporate rock sucks!"

Your butthorn of the week: Jack Tufano drops one on Baja Beach Club in CocoWalk. He says he went there with ten friends and found the trip offputting, to say the least. "I am gay and seven of the others are from foreign countries. During a song the DJ was announcing dance instructions. Frustrated that everyone wasn't following his directions, he announced that everyone who wasn't dancing must either be homosexuals or foreigners." Tufano says he spoke with club management and was told that the comments were meant in good fun and he was extended an apology. "I leave it up to you to decide whether to patronize this homophobic, foreigner-phobic establishment." Easy choice, Jack. I don't dance.

The media circus: And no newspaper will ever publish this story. Too sappy, too hokey, no violence. Just another couple of tourists falling victim to the land of sun and scum. Right. It was Mitzvah Day, and some kids from the Children's Home Society were being treated to a day at the Seaquarium by folks from Temple Beth Am. A couple from Argentina A doomed tourists, as it were A had already visited the sea park that day. They went early because they were due to fly home that night. Michael Brown, the president of the Seaquarium, happened to be hanging out with the CHS youngsters and their chaperones. "Somebody found a wad of money," Brown says. "I carry my money in a clip, so I thought it might be mine. I touched my pocket, I had mine. I looked at it, and there was a lot of money there. I went to the office to see if anyone had claimed it. I told the office that if someone calls, let me talk to them to ID it." Brown A and by the way, I called him after receiving a tip, he didn't call me A went home that afternoon. The tourists thought twice about calling the Seaquarium A probably a waste of time. But they did, and were quickly given back the roughly $2500 in American and Argentine cash that the field-trip group had found and handed over to Brown. The tourists told Brown, "Something like this would never happen in Buenos Aires." After regaining their funds, the tourist couple drove to the airport, where they were robbed and killed. (I made up that last sentence for the media.)

Pet corner: A dog can't live where I do, in a small house with a funky yard that can't be fenced. But some of my best friends are dogs. So Dr. Joe Sarmiento's joke doesn't work, but it cheers me up anyway: "Dear Greg: Congratulations! You are the proud winner of a canine spay surgery, courtesy of Central Veterinary Clinic's community service low-cost spay-neuter clinic! Not only that, but the guy doing the surgery is writing this to you. Thanks for the mention in 'Pet corner.'" They can't do it for free, obviously, but Dr. Joe and company do it as cheaply as human(e)ly possible (as low as $20 for a male cat, including the four-in-one vaccination). Call Dr. Joe at 649-0900.

Get a dog or cat fixed today. Unless you want to be one of the Floridians putting more than 350,000 cats and dogs to death each year at a cost of some $20 million.

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