By Michael E. Miller
By Allie Conti
By David Villano
By Jose D. Duran
By Michael E. Miller
By Allie Conti
By Kyle Swenson
By Luther Campbell
"Once by each wife, for a total of three bullets, making four holes, three ins and one out."
"And you're still alive."
"Are you going to change any of this for your poem?"
"No. It's going in word for word."
"That's too bad, because asking me if I'm alive makes you look kind of stupid. Obviously I am."
"Well, maybe I mean alive in a deeper sense...."
The great writer (and friend) Rafael Navarro sent a postcard from Land's End in England. He intends to marry in the fall and is eating all kinds of weird food in Cornwall. The great band (and friends) the Goods sent a postcard from New Orleans, the tour was going great, and "we saw the ghost of the Boss hanging out barefoot in an alley on Sixth Street in Austin, Texas." Michael Kennedy, scheduled to host this Sunday's Wide Open Mike at Squeeze, sent me a bunch of Rooster Head outtakes and some incense, both of which I'll tell you more about in the future. For now I just wanted to say thanks.
They let me and my New Times colleagues play roundball in their adult b-ball league, and they offer many other activities, for young and old, so I'm going to plug the Southwest YMCA. Softball, basketball, volleyball, soccer, all kinds of stuff goes on there and they're great people. Call 'em at 665-3513.
Butthorn of the week: Mo Morgen, owner of MoJazz Cafe. Happy first anniversary, hope there are many more. Congrats on winning Best Jazz Club in "Best of Miami." Now shut the fuck up. Mo wrote a note to me and Bob Weinberg thanking us, noting that his being a pain in the butt yet still winning made him even prouder of the honor. Then he added, "Whoever wrote that piece hasn't been at MoJazz since last September. 80 percent of the bar has a clear view of the stage and the other 20 percent can see the stage using the wall mirror. This is a disservice to us and the public to tell them something so untrue and will keep many people away." The person who wrote that item A I won't identify him or her A was at the club two weeks before. Several of my friends, including my wife, have been to MoJazz since. Hey, it's the best jazz club in Miami. What do you want?
The media circus: The new scrape, number eleven, is out. Get it, read it, then you'll get it. The other night I was going home on the bus, reading Denis Johnson. I looked up and realized I'd gone about two miles past my stop. As I got off I told the driver, "Damn, man, I missed my stop because I was reading." He told me something profound: "Don't read."
Pet corner: I'm not even going to try to interpret this, just let it flow, a written message from Velvet and Nails, playing Captain Jimmy's as noted above, about that guitar-playing rodent pictured herein: "This is our band mascot, Mr. Reuben Kinkaid Hamster. He loves to climb onto Frankie's guitars and pluck at the strings...the funny thing is, he plucks them so hard (like Hendrix) that you can actually hear notes coming through. The really funny thing is that we named him after the Partridge Family's booking agent and in the ten and a half months we've had him our bookings have doubled.... Thanks for having 'Pet corner.' I think it's cool you care about the underdogs...I contacted ARFF and PETA." Thank you Velvet and Nails, Tiffinni and Frankie, and Reuben. And by the way, the name of the dog on the Partridge Family teevy show was Simone. Just thought I'd throw that in for you trivia buffs.
Bonus: This past Friday Lenny "Large" "Geedo" Pronesti packed it up and hit the road to God's country 'cause Indiana wants him. Bless you my friend, for everything, from that fine cognac-soaked Cuban cigar to allowing me to work the grill to the whiskey and everything else at that two-day-long farewell party and all those Causes shows and those Road nights and the rides. All those rides A we're going to Homestead! Because of you there were many times I didn't have to take the bus but was on it anyway.