Program Notes 39

There is cool stuff going on in the Square/Spo-Dee-O-Dee/Dark Room space. We've mentioned the wild Screw on Tuesdays, which this week intends to stage the way cool Stimulators. On Sundays it's Boom! -- the Aftermath, a Latin rock night with videos and soon international touring acts.

The Melanie concert on January 22 at the Talkhouse is a benefit for Neighbors Helping Neighbors.

Festivals are a nickel a dozen 'round here, but this one's over the top. It's the South Florida Folk Festival, a two-day orgy of smart, friendly, provocative music headlined by Oscar Brand and Rosalie Sorrels. Call 964-7787 and check out the "Calendar."

Yo, drummers. The Drum Talk workshop series begins next Tuesday with Vinx. The place is the Lincoln Theatre, the cost is $10, the phone is 672-7519. Beat a path.

Bob Kuiper, a local jazz vocalist, says he obtained the Holly Cole Trio album and liked it so much he went to see both of their shows at Stephen Talkhouse. Now he wants to know why Love-94 refuses to play the Holly Cole Trio. Good question.

Road trip, anyone? An excellent opportunity to get a taste of North Florida, and some of its alternative music, this weekend. Two dozen bands play the Alachua Fairgrounds in Gainesville on Saturday and Sunday. Organizers say there wasn't enough of a budget, but next year they hope to make it an all-Florida-bands event, featuring some of South Florida's bright lights. Tickets -- only five bucks -- can be obtained at Y&T. Among the bands: Whoreculture, Tone Unknown, Gruel, Ten Feet Tall, Stalefish.... Call 904-336-8360.

Butthorn of the week: Madonna sucks in the presence of about several thousand butthorns. Me, I was busy watching the Miami Heat do battle with Shaq and his Orlando Magic support staff. The yupsters around us, and plenty of others, wouldn't shut up about the fact Madonna was there, sucking on lollipops and staring at Shaq's largeness. Todd "Sloppy Joe" Anthony turns to me early in the game and says, "Hey, Bake, you see Madonna, right? That's what everyone's yapping about." I couldn't resist offending the yupsters. In a loud voice: "Madonna who?" I have to admit I took a look. It was very late in the game, the Heat down by about ten, when Glen "G Money" Rice nails a three-pointer. The crowd goes wild...the Heat gets the ball back..."Minute" Rice nets out another three! The place erupts. I glance down. Madonna is one of maybe three people in the Arena sitting dumb. And while we're on the subject -- Steve "Please Leave" Smith blew that game and is blowing too much lately. Madonna's not the only one who sucks.

The media circus: The other night for New Year's one of the teevy news shows had psychic Micki Dahne on the air to make her 1994 predictions. Among those predictions: Barbra Streisand's Vegas shows might be her last live performances ever. A day later Variety reported that it looks like Babs will tour.

Pet corner: Update: Sarah or Sara -- she never did leave her name spelling or phone number -- did call back after I asked her to in this space and she did finish the story of cat Maggie. "She was a stray in my apartment complex who kept getting pregnant. So I took her to the Humane Society and got her spayed. It cost me $25. But Maggie pulled out the stitches.... So I took her to the nearest vet. I better not tell you his name. I told him I was a student and that the cat was a stray, not mine. He still charged me $250. I guess it's a business and they have to make a living. The cat got better, and I found her a nice home, so I guess it's a good ending." A $250 stitch job? I still want to know more.

Hello and goodbye: Eduardo Rodrigo Bustamante, Jr., was born December 30 at 1:00 p.m., weighing in at nine pounds and measuring 21 inches. Roxy the Chum Dog likes him, licks his head. Nobody tell Eddie Sr. or Irene, but me and the little nipplesucker are going shrimping for the next few days. See ya in two weeks. If we all should live so long.

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