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A minister, a rabbi, and an attorney are swimming in the ocean. A shark comes along and swallows up the rabbi. A second shark moves in and gobbles the minister. A third shark approaches, sniffs the attorney, and swims off. Why? Professional courtesy.
It's really not so difficult to hate lawyers, those overpaid garbage buckets of pomposity blighting the landscape and ignoring common sense. But while most people are content to crack derisive jokes, Herman Chanin has found a way to incorporate his disdain for legal beagles with the operation of his wholesale hardware business.
No, it doesn't have anything to do with a specially renamed type of screw. It's much simpler, and you may have seen the results. Three weeks ago Chanin placed large placards seven feet high by seven feet wide on the back of his three delivery trucks, emblazoned with this message: "Restore The Constitution, Don't Vote For Lawyers."
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
It probably shouldn't surprise anyone that Chanin has gotten up close and personal with an attorney or two. In this case, it was a divorce that dragged on for nearly two years and ended only recently. "It cost me more than $400,000," he grumbles, adding that most of the money went toward attorney fees and accountants. "There's something wrong."
Chanin has zeroed in on one specific area: the abundance make that overabundance of attorneys in government. "We have lost our system of checks and balances," he declares. "Everybody is a lawyer. The president is a lawyer. The first lady is a lawyer. All of the judges are lawyers. Most members of Congress and the state legislature are lawyers. What we need are more everyday people in government. We have to have more of a mix."
What's better than a dead lawyer? Two dead lawyers.
The 61-year-old Chanin hasn't yet come up with a plan to remedy the problem, but he figures his mobile protest is a good place to start. And so far reaction has been positive. "A lot of cars drive by and honk and give our drivers the thumbs up," says Chanin, who came to Miami with nothing 38 years ago and built a successful business, Palm Land Supply. "It shows me that a lot of people have been hurt by lawyers and that people feel helpless. I don't know that the signs will do anything, but they make me feel good. People used to laugh at Thomas Edison. They called him a crackpot. So what? If the signs touch one person, or make a few people think about how many lawyers we have in government, then I'll be happy.