The frenzy, the Central American whorehouse feel of the club, inducing new levels of gross unprofessionalism on the dirty laundry beat. Staying on till 4:00 a.m., guzzling Tattinger champagne from the bottle, side-stepping a psychotic drag queen flopping around the pool table like a freshly caught trout. Frolicking with three club kittens engrossed in pseudo-lesbo hijinks, brimming with an ugly itch for sensation. Madonna could have publicly gone down on Naomi Campbell and it still wouldn't have been enough. Attaching like a lamprey to the most important entourage in a futile attempt at the third circle of Hell, and then, at the last gasp of the evening, a trip to Nirvana with promoter Michael Jacobson, making amends with a security guy he'd openly called "a fucking prick." A few Euros in Kramer's private room, lit with votive candles, and two Love Connection/Howard Stern girls posing on the balcony: "We're just on vacation from L.A. No, of course we didn't have any problems getting in." A classic nightclub scenario bearing out Gertrude Stein's dictum: Ultimately, there is no there, there.

Back down to the club for less-ego-draining parties. The premiere of "Men In Hell," the Tuesday gay night hosted by John Herman, Diane Iannucci, and Louis Canales. An attractive crowd of A-gays, two leather men licking one another in the Envy room, Karen Carpenter in the portrait gallery, guests on the order of Andrew Tobias, financial writer and the pseudonymous author of Best Little Boy in the World. The following evening another debut for "Magazine, Fashion & Music Industry Nites" hosted by Erinn Cosby and Hell promotions assistant Nicky Narcis, a.k.a. Nicky the Party Boy. Julie Jewels of Project X magazine and Norma Jean Abraham hosting simultaneous soirees. At both events, drawn to the antique "God's Plan through the Ages" chart in the devil's sitting room, offering the historical perspective on the rake's progress from the vortex to the abyss. In the modern world, God's plan may be nothing but a cruel trick: leading his children onward to an atavistic, hopeless quest for the redemption of heaven, a journey continually undermined by the suspicion that hell is infinitely more compelling.

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