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A presidential candidate we can all get behind

8. Electing Ice-T guarantees change. "We've got two options," T has said. "Voting or hostile takeover. I'm down with either one."

9. "We need a real choice," RRC states. "Not a way of picking between branches of the PMRC or corporate America (Clinton's Wal-Mart vs. Bush's Pennzoil)." Not to mention Perot's EDS.

10. "Fuck tha police."
"We had an anti-censorship table at the Guns N' Roses concert," Ballinger says. "And we found out that Ice-T is a hero to those people. People who are perceived as all ignorant rednecks. He's both helping them think, and proving they aren't what they were supposed to be in the first place." Axl Rose recently commended T in public. Unity for change is this nation's last best hope. Ice-T is about unity for change.

None of the major candidates -- Bush, Clinton, Perot, or Ice-T -- were available for an interview so close to election time. However, spokespersons and media coverage provided enough information to draw some obvious distinctions:

The economy: Bush's treatment is the same ol' Reagan. It hasn't worked for twelve years, it won't work for the next four. Clinton advocates an invest-and-grow approach that could send inflation through the roof, if anybody has a roof by then. Perot has an elaborate scheme involving a balanced budget that might work if anybody in this country had a decent education in math. "Ice-T has the Rhyme Syndicate," says Ballinger, "which brought jobs to people they might not otherwise get from other candidates. Just listen to the lyrics to `The Hunted Child,' where he condemns the capitalist system. He will agitate for redistribution of wealth. He's spoken about the fact he makes a ton of money. And he speaks about how this isn't the issue. The issue is that everybody has to be pulled up."

Education: Bush chose for vice president a man who graduated from a mediocre college with a submediocre 2.16 grade point average. While Slick Willie is a Rhodes Scholar, he chose for running mate a man who strongly supports limiting access to information. You can't have education without information. And Ross Perot chose James Stockdale, which means Perot wins this one, except Perot himself will destroy all the teachers' work just by the way he talks. T knows enough to know that the best education isn't found in academia. It's found by learning.

Jobs: All the candidates, except T, want one.
The character issue: Iran-contra. Draft dodging and not admitting it. Investigating people. Fascist tendencies. And then there's Ice-T, who's always stood up for what he believes in, never hid from a challenge or threat, and certainly isn't a fascist.

Freedom in America has never been so infringed upon as it is in the 1990s. It's not too late. It's not a wasted vote. Write in Ice-T for president, and fuck tha police state.

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