By Terrence McCoy
By Allie Conti
By Chuck Strouse
By Scott Fishman
By Terrence McCoy
By Ryan Yousefi
By Ciara LaVelle, Kat Bein, Carolina Del Busto, and Liz Tracy
By Pepe Billete
Everyone should have known for months that an Andrew would hit here, especially those agrifolks down in Homestead. From The Old Farmer's Almanac of 1992, page 156: "A possible hurricane crossing southern Florida at the end of August...." Now that's what I call an I Told You So.
Things can get a bit tricky in the communication business when you're surviving in a true jungle -- as John Wesley Harding sings on his new album, "The phone lines are on strike and the doormen are all down" and "And it's snowing at home/And we're incommunicado/'Cos they cut off the phones." I still don't understand how FPL can restore electricity to 536,000 out of 620,000 customers while Southern Bell can't handle the loss of only two percent of its customers. Knowing that phone lines by law are at least 36 inches underground, I feel let down to still not have phone service because the line from my house to the pole snapped during Andrew. (I'm not complaining, I'm just amazed.) Anyway, at least two clubs were listed as "closed" in this paper's "Clubs" section, although both, according to sources, are in fact open. The Brickell Tavern called to say, hey, stop that, we're open and ready for the tired, hungry, and wind-blown. We also hooked up with the Tigertail in the Grove, which is now open after eleven days of darkness. See how easy it can be? If we can't reach you, you can always reach us. Just don't try calling me at home. All clubs, concert promoters, musicians, lunatics, drug dealers: Dial 372-0004. Even if you have no news to report, we'd still like to know you're okay. (To those who did call or who returned my calls: Thanks, hang in there.)
Butthorn of the week: Jesse Jackson for even showing his face around these parts. For once, it's not a racial thing.
The media circus: Keep-your-pants-on headline in the September 6 Miami Herald: "Pumice stone can remove dark leaf stains left on bottom by hurricane." Ouch.
Butthorn of the media circus from a few weeks ago: The Herald's Linda Robertson for suggesting that the UM Hurricanes change their team nickname. Get a grip, people.