As for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, well, I was hoping for a mishmash of Valley Girl, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, The Lost Boys, Fright Night, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, and Heathers. Unfortunately, Buffy's vampire slaying diminishes anything this otherwise delightful bimbo has to offer, mostly at the mall. Poor Donald Sutherland. Poor Rutger Hauer. Even poor Paul Reubens (a.k.a. Pee-wee). They're as out of place as Ross Perot at the NAACP. There are two compensatory good lines, though. Numero Uno is Buffy's lament at the graveyard: "I can't believe I'm in a graveyard with a strange man hunting for vampires on a school night." The second line comes earlier, at the galleria, when a friend comments, as Buffy's trying on a article of clothing, "It's, like, soooo five-minutes-ago."