By Chuck Strouse
By Scott Fishman
By Terrence McCoy
By Ryan Yousefi
By Ciara LaVelle, Kat Bein, Carolina Del Busto, and Liz Tracy
By Pepe Billete
By Ryan Yousefi
By Kyle Swenson
Butthorn of the week: America. People are dying out here, man. We done raped the planet already, one of the largest cities on the continent just burned to the ground, the options available to voters for the next leader of the free world come down to Moe, Larry, or Curly. We're fucked, folks, fucked. But at least Murphy Brown gets good ratings.
The media circus: A week ago, on Wednesday, I rented a vid-movie called Livin' Large, which was sort of about black people and white people, but mostly about how weird teevy news is, how it places high ratings above everything. After it ended, I switched on Channel 6's late news to catch a report about the Mavericks. The juxtaposition was kinda weird. For the last three-and-a-half minutes - an eternity in teevy newsland - anchor John Hambrick completely lost it, Howard Bealed-out right on the air. Near tears, spewing prose that fell somewhere between Churchill and gibberish, Hambrick ripped his heart out and spilled his guts, raving about how he wanted to be a cowboy, how country music is the godhead. He interviewed the Mavs and let them jam a bit, and he mentioned their achievements. But mostly he bared his soul in a wild essay-cum-rant. Some viewers probably think he made a fool of himself. I thought it was brilliant.
Pet corner: The Animals' Agenda reports that a hunter fired his gun into a badger hole in southern Texas. The hole contained a "killer bee" hive. The hunter was stung 400 to 500 times.
Greg Brown lyric of the week: From 1992's "So Hard" on Dream Cafe: "Why is it so hard/Why is it so hard/Why is it so hard/Why is it so hard/To love, love, really love somebody?