Picture This

Girls' Talk
As my eyes begin to glaze over, I pop in TeenVid for a change of pace. Utterly female-oriented, TeenVid takes us to the house of pinup hunklet Tommy Puett, star of TV's Life Goes On. We visit his horses and watch as they try to bite him. We hang around his pool table as he explains that he's an "all-American kid" (who just happens to have a million-dollar view of Diamond Bar and his own stable). Tommy also goes so far as to reveal that he's "always been a very heartfelt kid," whatever that means. Maybe those cartoons on Hard N' Heavy weren't so bad after all.

That's a Rap
By the time I get to Slammin' Rap, my jaw is slack, my brain is one big flat-line, and I can't comprehend what Big Daddy Kane is trying to tell me about recording his album. Aside from developing square eyes, there are a lot of pros and cons to these video magazines. The cool thing about these trendy items is watching your godz in action. Traditional magazines offer a fairly flat view of personalities; with video, you're privy to the sights and sounds of bands and actors in their native habitats. Another plus: underground bands and rare videos getting some deserved exposure.

On the negative tip, seeing your favorite bands for the inarticulate pudwhackers they can be is a rather disillusioning experience. And with the video format, there are no groovy posters to tack up all over your room and annoy your parents. Last, but certainly not least, is the price tag. Most of these videos go for $14.95, and frankly, the buck stops there for me. Pick up a magazine at the newsstand and peruse it for a while. If there's nothing you like, put it back. Pick up a video knowing only that there's a segment about one of your favorite bands. If it sucks, you're out of luck and fifteen bones. As if the high price of CDs, cassettes, and concert tickets wasn't shooting big enough holes in the wallets of music lovers, this video roulette is the final bullet.

In the end, the thing about video magazines that I find disturbing is the effect they may have on the future. Teen magazines may not be recognized as important literature, but at least when kids read them, they're reading

something. I have to wonder about a future that's going to be run by a deaf, square-eyed, antisocial generation that happens to be computer literate.