THAT'S POOP,ALL RIGHT
I must say that after reading your feature article concerning "George & Jane & Steve & Ellis & Kathy" (October 2) I became incensed. What kind of journalism is this? Why have you wasted your time and space? When are you going to do your jobs right?
Here's the real poop. George was right in stating that Jane became involved with Steve for career purposes. Jane, however, fell in love with Kathy from the first time she met her at Pure Platinum. Steve has always been sex-starved because of his insecurity of being overweight and thought it would be a great experience to bring Jane along for "investigative purposes." The loving looks that Kathy and Jane gave to each other while Jane was table dancing for the both of them should've triggered a negative response from Steve but this was not the case. Steve was not looking. From the corner of his eye he noticed George who was staring at his table. George, in fact, was in love with Jane, and when Steve wandered away from the table and approached him he thought his cover was blown. But a discussion led to the offer of a foursome. George immediately agreed. Everyone was happy. Steve lusted for George, George lusted for Jane, Jane lusted for Kathy, and Kathy lusted for sex.
The foursome took place in Kathy's apartment and of course it was videotaped by Kathy's husband. This is the secret videotape. The other videotape will never make it in court because it is inconclusive. Rumor has it the person in that video was Pee-wee, and there was never any penetration because of the mess he made, but this is a sick tale for another time.
I have the foursome tape secretly hidden in a wino's shopping cart in South Beach and it's not for sale but rather for my own sick purposes.
This is the real story; and the moral of the story is: who gives a damn?
A DOFF OF THE BOWLER HAT TO MANSON AND THE SPOOKY KIDS - OUCH!
Regarding Kathy Johnson's letter (September 25): I personally was happy to see Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids get a favorable review ("On the Beat," September 4). The band is interesting to look at, plays tighter than a size-six bowler hat, and the vocals have a raw sound reminiscent of early Alice Cooper. If the stage shows were bizarre and offended Kathy, then she should stay away somewhere nice and safe where the band will perhaps play whatever boring generic stuff that all too many bands in this area churn out.
The concept of original music is just that - original. Original music, original looks, and original stage shows. As far as Bergasse 19 goes, they have only played out once, seven or eight months ago. If this band has stayed in Kathy's mind for seven or eight months - need I say more? - they were at least memorable. Anyhow, was this girl complaining about the band or the crowd in attendance? She shouldn't forget what a lot of noise and moral posturing like hers can do for a band - look at Luther Campbell and the 2 Live Crew. If a band presents stage shows or has material that offends her, then she should bring her smelling salts. Both of the bands mentioned are noteworthy, original, and are deserving of praise for that. In addition, the only reference made about LSD in the write-up was a vague remark as to the alleged contents of a lunch box.
Lana Von Funk
NEW TIMES PASSES WITH EXTRA CREDIT
Regarding "The Case From Hell" (September 11 and 18) by Steven Almond: I have been a reader of New Times, since it was The Wave, of virtually every article, except a few I just couldn't hack, and I found this one to be excellent, by far the best ever, to date.
On a math test, even the smallest error at the beginning of a problem will usually so distort the outcome that even if the rest is done perfectly, the answer will be very wrong and the grade very low. On the other hand, a mistake of like magnitude near the end will only slightly throw off the answer and nearly full credit will be awarded. The official disposition of this case reminds me of the former. The result of placing the children with the older sister at the outset and to date - a glaring no-no - is that early in this case is a very large error that throws off everything after, even if all else were correct.
Thus, one of the fascinations about this story, is that manifestly, or to borrow from Jefferson, self-evidently, the state, that is HRS, etc., is wrong from the get-go.
Here's another, then I'll let it go. Miami Beach residents: Can you read "The Case From Hell," especially part two, and vote for Gelber?