Swelter

Over the main resurfaced bar, a small stage has been added with a revolving turntable for dancers. A series of platforms lead up to the open second-floor aubergine lounge, accented with eerie neon lighting. There are three new bars, plush velvet carpeting, computerized lighting, and a new stage, with rope netting for dancers to frolic on. According to Tamsitt, the operating philosophy of full-scale fun decadence won't be changing much. "It'll be the usual Warsaw madness: fat ladies, midgets, and pigs."

Big conceptual changes are, however, planned for Downtown, the straight disco Tamsitt manages across the river from downtown Miami. The club closed down August 9 and will open again some time in early to mid-October. (But then, who really knows about these things?) "I never thought the place should be all straight - I mean, this is 1991 - especially considering the location," Tamsitt says. "We're going to reopen as a mixed club called Metropolis. It's going to kind of resemble the 1929 silent movie, with layered constructions and cross-fading lighting. You might see a superimposed window frame, and then behind it, another color or dimension mixed in."

Another dimension of fun might soon be added to Ocean Drive. Several French investors are reportedly looking at the second-floor club space contained within the hideous shopping mall across the street from the News Cafe. (At one time, Corbett Monica was supposed to open a comedy club there.) The vital thing - the name - has already been invented, and is too, too cunning: Le Boy.

In the deranged rumor category, Eighties simpleton and Nineties workout spokesman Don Johnson, along with several other no doubt fun-bedazzled investors, are supposedly eyeing the old Club Nu space. No one is sure about the name - Donnie's? Viceland? - but the concept definitely needs work. (Is there such a thing as too much fun?) Naturally the place will probably open during this year's fashionable season: "Sometime in the early fall.