Maybe pinning the blame on Swayze isn't fair. After all, he's only an actor, only doing his job. But someone has to take the fall, and it might as well be the slow guy. So here's an incoherent and surreal (but quite satisfying) therapy: Go to the dictionary, locate "dumb" (it should be between "Duma" and "dumbbell," or thereabouts), and inflate each of the word's letters to the size of a giant tire. Then affix all four inflated letters to a pickup truck and run it over Patrick Swayze's career. Up and back, up and back. Spare no expense. Put him out of our misery. Tell him quality control sent you.