Fit to Be Tide

Maybe pinning the blame on Swayze isn't fair. After all, he's only an actor, only doing his job. But someone has to take the fall, and it might as well be the slow guy. So here's an incoherent and surreal (but quite satisfying) therapy: Go to the dictionary, locate "dumb" (it should be between "Duma" and "dumbbell," or thereabouts), and inflate each of the word's letters to the size of a giant tire. Then affix all four inflated letters to a pickup truck and run it over Patrick Swayze's career. Up and back, up and back. Spare no expense. Put him out of our misery. Tell him quality control sent you.

POINT BREAK
Directed by Kathryn Bigelow; written by W. Peter Iliff; with Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey, Lori Petty, John McGinley, James Le Gros, Ping Wu, Jared Chandler, and John Apicella.

Rated R.

Now playing at major theaters in Dade and Broward counties.